Opaque sky

By love_writing

Mon, 22 Dec 2014
  • 972 reads
4 comments
 

 

There was some sort of hope

in the sky

behind the opaque grey;

light shone like a torch

through tracing paper.

 

A thin needle cut

through the grey

pushing, entering

its sharp metal

disappearing

like a needle in a haystack.

 

There was a wash of light

in the sky,

a mottled marble

a fleeting flutter,

as a gull

did a controlled paraglide

 

thin landing legs out,

laughing

as his friends vanished

in layers of feint frosted opaque,

disappearing into another world.

 

 

Certificate U
Poem
Nature

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

well, let's hope the hope in the sky is translated into a sea-gull of chortles and xmas merriment. 

 

Submitted by love_writing on

Yes we need all the chortles we can get at this time of year Celtic man. Hope you've had a good Christmas.

love_writing

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

Ah I thought this was absolutely lovely writing, delicate touches like 'thin needle cut/through the grey/pushing, entering' and the alliterative spike of 'mottled marble/fleeting flutter', lovely subtle word combinations and otherworldly atmosphere conjured :-)

 

Submitted by love_writing on

Hi Stephen good to hear from you. Thanks for your comment, really glad you liked it!  Otherworldly was what I was aiming for so thsnks for picking up on that :) 

love_writing