Through the Snowy Veil

By a102866

Tue, 03 Feb 2015
  • 838 reads
4 comments
 

Below my window
a seamless quilt
no tweed no frill
fluffed by wind's
unseen hand

Above, a maze
outline of a hominid
drooping his curled limbs
as the combing wind
sheds his skin flakes

On my window pane
a translucent glaze
funneling my eyes
through the lisping breeze
to a field of pleated dreams

Certificate U
Poem
Surreal
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

'fluffed by wind's
unseen hand' - saying that makes it feel like a crisp, clean breeze. In your poem, you managed to capture a wispy chill that makes me feel at the same time, all quilted up and cozy in the obsevation. Loved - 'a seamless quilt'. That's a great description. And - 'funneling my eyes through the lisping breeze to a field of pleated dreams' - loved that, too. And I can appreciate it all the more for gazing out at the snow that's falling right this minute. Hope I'll soon be pleated into those dreams...

Very much enjoyed.

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Lovely floaty, dreamy feel, the outside looks like a sleepy bed this morning, not so cosy when I'm in it.  I prefer your inside looking out.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

We haven't snow today, despite being on the far west of England, but I too enjoyed your concentrated description. I presume the intriguing metaphor in your second verse is of a skeletal tree having its collected snow blown off? Rhiannon

 

Submitted by a102866 on

Thanks Bee, Rhiannon, and Phillip for your poignant responses. I agree that just the thought of snow can give you a wintry thrill. I love to describe the snow lay on the landscape, and I like reading your poems along with others that artfully describe its aesthetic appeal. Thanks again for stopping by and commenting. An added note to clarify my second stanza. You are spot on Rhiannon; the second stanza refers to a skeletal tree shedding its winter cloak.