Helen

 

 

I know you are an eye

Prying to know the story of my strength

 

You see through my existence

And tell all my history

 

People I don’t know

See the past in my mascara

Painted eyes

 

Even your shadow

Pry’s from behind the couch

 

I moved away

So many times

 

 

 

Stolen moments with you

You’re trying to steal back my heart

 

Give it back to me

In shade I’ve grown accustom to

 

Ulcers the size of golf balls

As you turn up to pick up the kids

 

No thought, compassion

Hostile words

Cut like paper scissors

 

Should I tell you in truths

About the lies you told

 

Everything beautiful should

Know how ugly you are

 

Distressed damsels sit alone

Behind closed doors

 

Window dressing

To attract some attention

From dark handsome strangers

 

You are man

I am virtue

 

You are iron

I tare like silk

 

You are from beneath

Whispering sweet nothings

Taking me beyond stars

 

 

You are still untrue

I try to compose

 

 

 

 

To harbour malice would only

Abuse my sensibilities

 

I bleed

You tear

 

I see right through your talk

Stop the abuse please

 

In our house

I walk through the door

You carried me through

 

Carried your young

Wrapped them in my arms

Like a birthday gift

 

You’re gone now

But scars still remain

 

I bleed for you

But you didn’t see

 

I miscarried for you

There you were

But didn’t weep

 

I cried for you

You tried to control me

 

 

 

So now it’s years later

 

And snow still settles

On the unkempt lawn in the back yard

 

The children are grown

And no longer play hid and seek

 

My wounds I still bath

And dress in swaddling cloth

 

Place tea candles in all rooms

Along the stairs

 

Check all the locks

Fumble in my bag for my key

 

Make myself a coffee

Add a good helping of gin

 

Light a cigarette

With trembling hands

 

Sit in my dressing gown

Rock myself to sleep

In my favourite chair

 

 

 

 

Its summer now

Yet I still feel cold inside

 

Our summers ended years ago

As I watched the weather change

 

And the seasons grow

From light to dark