Things left unsaid

By alphadog1

Wed, 11 Mar 2015
  • 2212 reads
6 comments
 

Things   left unsaid

 

A soft smile and a close hug.
                                           wait…
eyes  glisten  and  thoughts  touch
around a  knotted   quake.
hands  that  make  my  heart soft
as imagined soft  hand  strokes  lumps  hard
All wrapped  about  a  congested thought
that  blisters   up the  blood
and then fires  the  brain

Can things ever be the  same?

Thoughts  of
Slow caresses
soft skin moist parted lips
Her  beauty  her friendship  my  pain
The   quiver  in the  cage.

Then  we part 
The  embrace  is  over and we  depart
Her  one  way  and I  another 

 
                                    with  things just  left  unsaid.

(c)  adh2015 

Certificate 18
Poem
Erotica

Comments

Submitted by hilary west on

I liked the line 'quiver in the cage' : the rest was very tender too!

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on

its a first   draft  so I  might   do some  work on it. The foregrounding  is a  bit weak  though the  line  spacing   works  for  me  when considering the flow of the  text. 

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on

yes  that metaphor   surprised me a  bit

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Alphadog, this is very physical without being crude. I like it.

Submitted by alphadog1 on

the   idea   was less  about sex itself. Ive  been  studying  space  in poety  and how this  links  to inferrence. the  muse  really  is based  about  a feeling of having a  "friend with  benefits"  and how   I actually felt about it.  The spaces  are  related   to pauses  within the  flow  of the  text and this  adds to the  forgrounding  of the notion  of the  poem  which  is deviation   from expectancy.  (she  is not interested opposed to the notion  that  he/or she  is, the  text  is ambiguous  about  the  gender  of the  author. Also a deliberate  act. the  caged  relates to  birds.  (and this  also  relates  to the  feminine  personea  of the  text. ) 

 

Submitted by prettyrose on

smileyHi Alphadog. hope your well.I enjoyed it and really good idea how you have written it and how it can relate to different things, not just a woman. really well done.

 

Take Care

 

 

smiley Keep Smiling

Keep Writing xxx