Brian stirs it up

Funny. I'd been reading about bilocation – a creepy phenonomon where people appear in two places at once, when there was a tap on my window, and Brian who should have been 300 miles away in Aberdeen stood there mouthing at me to let him in.

He pushed past me ran into the living room and closed the curtains. “What, not even a 'hi, how you're doing?'”

“Don't open those fucking things.” He ran into the kitchen and pulled down the blinds. “And put a muzzle on that dog.”

He grabbed the remote control. “Jesus, do you watch shit all day?”.

Jeremy Kyle faded out just as he was about to reveal the father. “Bloody hell Brian, that was the end.”

Brian grabbed my face and stared – last time he did that I'd bitten his tongue which, in defence, he'd tried to put uninvited into my mouth.

“We have to...” He looked over his shoulder, “lay low.”

“What? This is a joke?”

“No, I'm in big shit.” He let go of my face and put his hand through my hair.

“What the hell have you done now?"

“Well, I can't tell you, but basically, I've killed someone.”

“Killed someone?!” I flicked a eye at the dog, which stared back in that watery eyed way perfected by King Charles Spaniels.

“It was self defence”

I untangled his hand from my hair and looked him up and down. “So go to the police”.

He picked up the magazine I'd been reading – “Bilocation, wish you were here... and here. Now there's a skill.”

“BRIAN!”

“If I tell the police, they'll definitely know it was me. And then.. well... it's all over.”

“Right. You have to go.”

I pushed him out of the door and locked it.

The letterbox flap opened. “If they come here, you don't know where I am.”

“If they come here, I'll take them to you myself” I switched the tv back on. The new father was sobbing on a chair holding hands with the girlfriend. It was hard to know if he was happy or sad.

Continue to Part 2