Dearest Daughter...

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Sat, 06 Jun 2015
  • 3142 reads
10 comments
 
That last time I visited you in the hospice, wanted
 to confess...own up, tell you what I’d been doing that afternoon,
 but didn’t know how.
 
In fact, I’d as good as ransacked your new home – as good as
torn it down, dismantled it, brick by brick and the foundations 
on which it stood. 
 
Your sheet-music, your CDs, books and pictures,  
still packed in cardboard boxes. Wind-chimes,
waiting to be hung,  mocked me with the shrillness 
of their silence.
 
You never even had time to move in, not properly,
 before your final showdown with the ‘Big C’.
 
Each and every item stashed into black plastic sacks
for the hospice ‘bring and buy’. What other choice did I have? 
Pray, perhaps?  Miracles do happen, occasionally, but I knew...
not this time.
 
Your piano never shut – ready to play the second the fancy 
took you.  I closed it for the last time, still hearing 
Für Elise and knowing it was just my imagination...
so, stick it on eBay for the pittance it’ll fetch.
 
Emptying the kitchen cupboards; those precious spices;  
recipes, rice from Mumbai, collected on your travels to feed
your culinary passion.  
 
That last memo of yours pinned on the larder door;
in seconds, ripped to shreds, then I chickened out
painstakingly, pieced it back together with Sellotape...
 
“Take the cat to the vet, Friday, 2.30.
Dentist – Monday, 3.00”
 
your handwriting still brings me to my knees.  
And reading the magnet on your fridge...
 
‘Better we dare to live our dreams
 than live a lifetime in a  lethargy of regrets’.  
 
When pigs can fly, then and only then,
I might just agree.
 
Certificate 12
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Love
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thank you for sharing this. It is so sad and deep and full of raw emotion. I will be honest and say that it brought tears.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Ae...the thanks should go to you...for reading this, for your empathy, and for your words.

Tina

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Utterly heartbreaking, the stoic praticality until the crumble at the handwriting, such a personal marker of identity.  And the desperately sad truth that we would settle for just about anything, just to keep them. 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Philip...for all this one, small word means, and much more, thank you.

Tina

 

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

I just hope Tina that your poems bring you some kind peace. I know the heartache will never diminish but i am sure that your thoughts and images in your poetry will help others who find it difficult to express their feelings. I think it very brave of you that you feel you can share your innermost thoughts with us.

Thank you, through tears.

Lindy

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

I do hope you are right, with all my heart, about sharing my thoughts and feelings possibly helping others who find themselves in a similar situation. My sincere thanks to you, Lilndy.

Tina

 

Submitted by Yvonne Anderson on

You are so brave Tina and still the writing is beautiful

Best wishes. Yvonne

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Yvonne...a million.

Tina

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Tina,

Tragically beautiful is how I would describe this.  I can understand a little of  h ow you must feel.  It goes against the natural order of things for  a child to go before the parent and is something one would never get over.  That last memo is heartbreaking...the anticipation of a tomorrow.

Moya

 

Moya

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hello there, Moya.  I think of you, often, and it has made my day that you popped bysmiley

'The anticipation of a tomorrow'.  How true your words ring.

All my best to you, Moya.  

Tina