Slow Burn

Cherry

By Philip Sidney

Sat, 26 Sep 2015
  • 4274 reads
18 comments
 

I am wearing my best, my only dress

navy blue, too long, too loose

on my winter-ravaged frame

we’d all had ring-worm, but my hair is still long

hangs to my waist in unbrushed defiance

hollowed-green-eyes stare in the mirror

at this girl they say is me, then

at this place they call the outside

we’d both been there, all along

that’s what they say

I nod, for I choose not to speak

I nod, to placate, too tiresome

to tell the truth

my feet are bare on the scratchy ground

my limbs are tallow-skin yellow

I sit under the watchful sky

I know how to turn this into something else

I strike the match and burn some grass

too damp and fat to catch

a spark melts a hole in my twilight skirt

I watch it grow, feel the control

lick my fingers

snuff it out.

Certificate PG
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

I guess we put a little of ourselves in whatever we write, this version has an Alice Through the Looking-Glass complex and may have been the Sick Child in a previous poem.  Glad you liked it :)

Submitted by Bee on

It's fascinating like the photo. It's about more than just her, and her story gives insight to a background story, too. Lots more going in this than first meets the eye. Beautifully sculpted piece. 

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Bee.  Glad the bits of story leaked out. :)

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks for the cherries. :)

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

a poem of many layers - fascinating, like Bee said. I'm going to come back to this a few times - oh and the photo is amazing! Is it something you took?

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks insert.  Wish I had taken the picture, found it on pictify but no info to cite it.  

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

it does have a creative commons permission though, right?

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

It all seems fine, I've add the only info from sources, it appears not to have a copyright but at least the place it can be found is here.  I'll change if you think best, but it's pretty special...

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

oh it would be such a shame if you had to take it down! I've read through all the stuff on pictify and it isn't clear at all, is it. If the photographer/artist is ned h and you're registered on the site, I think it would be a good thing to email him if possible and ask if he minds - if you can't contact him, could you contact pictify? I know it sounds petty, but people can and do sue and it would be unfair to Tony - am sure you would agree. I can't see how anyone would mind if you left it up while you tried to find out. Fingers crossed!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Will do!  

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

It does seem to have the feel of the girl who's been so sick and a bit nightmarey with fever, and feeling the oddness of convalescence and everything feeling distorted, and also the feel of a little girl wanting to be a bit removed from communication with the adults in her life. I always feel uncomfortable with mysteries, want to know more! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Oh I am pleased Rhiannon, just what I wanted, I'm going to a few of these, not necessrily in chronological order though.

Submitted by VeraClark on

A weak child rehabilitating.. Echoes of the sickness that ravaged her immune system still there and the burn conveys how virus / disease feasts on the weakest. A slow burn to the poem - your pauses and breaths used to striking affect. Her understanding of power, damage and control are conveyed so vividly.

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Vera, love your reading of it.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

'I watch it grow, feel the control...'

A key line, in this amazing piece, I feel.

Tina

 

Submitted by Pat G on

This is stunning. It terrifies me with its descriptions of desolation and destructive power. Lines that leapt out at me: 

hollowed-green-eyes stare in the mirror

at this girl they say is me, then

at this place they call the outside

we’d both been there, all along

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Helen

Gosh, this is so poignant. It reminds me of earlier work you did - way back when you started writing on the site. Maybe you are doing another collection. I hope so. Your work is so good, it needs to be widely read.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Jean, what a lovely thing to say. smiley