our eyes kiss

By tibi popovici

Tue, 09 Feb 2016

4 comments

never thought
the memory of your eyes
will ever remain
glittering into my mind...
your sweet face
serious
as for a young lady
into a child mind

sweet drama
sorrow act
shivers
lights

as the only thing I did better
into my life
before growing up
to fall in love
looks to be the beautiful thing
I will ever do

You still haunting me!

Permalink Submitted by Bee on Wed, 2016-02-10 09:49

This is sweet, tibi. I wasn't sure about the punctuation. I think the poem would work better if you removed all punctuation marks.

Enjoyed.

Bee

Permalink Submitted by tibi popovici on Wed, 2016-02-10 11:01

Thank you Bee! Yes, you are right, I did remove some of the punctuation(writing on a phone could be a challenge sometimes :))

Permalink Submitted by Rhiannonw on Wed, 2016-02-10 10:10

You seem to have conveyed a real genuiness in the affection spoken from the eyes. Rhiannon

Permalink Submitted by tibi popovici on Wed, 2016-02-10 11:10

Thank you Rhiannon, your words are affecting me. In a good way :)