The Kiss
By Scintilla
- 7991 reads
benches with a large pad on her lap. In the top left hand corner is a
sketch of a tall young man bent forward peering closely at some detail
on a picture - just as you are inclined to do. It takes a moment for
you to realise that it is clearly a sketch of yourself. You had always
been so proud of your dense rich beard but it pays to look less Islamic
here in the West and you are not yet used to being clean shaven.
movements - her head bobbing up and down between her subject and her pad as the image seems to grow out of the paper. All your life you have wanted to be allowed to do this. It was one of the reasons you decided to make the terrible journey to so-called freedom. And now you are here and you are faced with a whole new set of complications. But for now it is enough not to be cold and hungry - and not to be attracting attention. The art gallery is a perfect place to pass the time between
restaurant scullery shifts. To stand around looking at extraordinary,
stimulating images is actually deemed a normal activity here in the
West.
beads. You look at the back of her neck and you realise that you have
seen very few female necks in your life. This one is pale, long and
slender with a dusting of freckles and you surprise yourself by
realising that you would very much like to brush your lips against it.
become aware of someone standing very close to you despite the relative emptiness of this particular hall. Your shoulders are almost touching. You don’t know why but you sense that it is the same young artist. You keep looking straight ahead as you feel the agitation in your chest start up again.
wearing a pair of old, tight fitting jeans. Her tee shirt is too short
to meet the top of her jeans exposing a hand’s width of naked flesh.
Over her shoulder she carries a large floppy leather bag with a sketch
book sticking out of the top.
and bends forward and peers closely at it. Clearly she is making fun of
you. You think you ought to be offended but instead you catch yourself
trying not to smile. Then she straightens, turns, catches your eye -
and winks. She is, indeed, having fun but not in a humiliating way.
She is recognising you. As if to say: ‘Us tall people have to bend to
see the world as others do.’ She is inviting you to share in a
conspiracy of tallness. Once again you cannot hold her gaze and, as you bow your head, you know that she can see the smile twitching at the
corners of your mouth.
other’s families. You bolt for the gents toilets where you splash water
on your face. You look at yourself in the mirror. You have regular
enough features, in a semitic sort of way. The lack of beard has
revealed a strong jawline that you cannot help but be pleased with.
Shame about your bright dark brown eyes with long lashes. Not very
manly. You practice a casual wink. No. It doesn’t look right. You
need the confidence inside if you want it to show on the outside.
a further encounter so you decide to just leave and sit on the bench
under the tree in that little park opposite the restaurant until your
shift begins.
running and calling for you to ‘Hold the door - please’. You instinctively do as she asks and she leaps over the threshold, smiling her thanks.
you immediately drop to your knees and help her gather up the beads as
the lift descends. By the time you reach the ground floor most of the
beads are safely stored in the cigar box she uses for her drawing
implements.
propels you across the foyer, out of the main entrance and into the
Costa Coffee next door. She sits you down on the end of a long oak
table, dumps her bag and goes to the counter. There is no escape now.
She has left her bag in your care. But by now you are beginning to
relax and enjoy yourself. If this is how boys and girls meet in the
west then so be it.
museums and galleries. Soon the coach comes and I leave. And you? Do you live here?’
coffee. She dips her head down and looks up at you to catch your eye.
‘Don’t be shy. It is okay to be beautiful.’
across the corner of the table and puts her arm around your neck,
drawing your face alongside hers facing the phone. She smells faintly
of jasmine.
no longer consider the appropriateness because it is going to happen
anyway. You stop breathing. You feel you might faint. You close your
eyes.
the tip of her tongue is probing into your mouth seeking, and finding,
your tongue. Her hand, on the back of your neck is holding your head in
the clinch.
checking her phone. Then she suddenly stands up, puts the bag over her shoulder, winks at you again and walks to the door, waving briefly
without turning round.
turning to an accompanying group of boys. In one hand she brandishes
her phone and in the other, her upturned cap into which the boys are
dropping money.
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Comments
Pick of the Day and Story of the Week
The excellent story from new writer Scintilla gets the double whammy today! It rings so true and reflects the sadness of our society.
Photo credit: http://tinyurl.com/jcfyeeo
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It's full of surprises - I
It's full of surprises - I love it!
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Perfect story telling and the
Perfect story telling and the denouement, when it comes, leaves an aftertaste.
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It has such impact. At the
It has such impact. At the end, I wanted to go and shout at the whole group of them, angry mother style. Second person's brilliantly used. Cant wait to read more of your work.
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Hello Scintilla
Very much a learning curve for for this guy, certainly this piece highlights in Technicolor the difference in cultures. This piece carries with it a sharp message. Sadly however, I think it is a little naive to think there will be many like him. Even more sadly, experiences like that might turn themaway from our culture (eg Brussels Molenbeek)
Excellent writing. As Vera said, the second person works really well here. A somewhat underestimated style I feel.
Good luck
Ed
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You make us feel so much for
You make us feel so much for the narrator. Skillfully structured and so affecting.
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Such a cleverly crafted piece
Such a cleverly crafted piece, beautiful and tender until the sting at the end. Wonderful
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Very well crafted and thought
Very well crafted and thought provoking. Look forward to reading more of your work.
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A fulfilling read
I enjoyed this thoroughly. I was surprised at the end though. Not in a bad way, but it was a bit sad.
V. Valentine ©
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