SECRETS Part 2

Back in 1970 a few months after I married ‘er indoors, I left the Stock Exchange to drive a London bus, a job I enjoyed very much, and worked with lots of nice peeps at Catford Garage.  As a crew driver I had a few clippies and one of these was a lass about the same age, and a good laugh.  We asked if we could team up together as we worked well as a crew. Her ol’ man was also a driver there, but wouldn’t work with her (Sandra) from now on known as Sandie.  His loss as far as I was concerned. However, I got on ok with him (Gary) and went out for a drink with him one evening.  All he would talk about was this nurse he was seeing (or should I say Seeing TO!) So as boredom set in I said ‘Time to go as I’ve an early start manana’.  Bored yet? It gets better.

We arranged another evening a couple of weeks later: I said I would pick him up. Weren’t that good of me! So arrived at his place to find he’d gone out. No guessin’ where. Sandie, looking somewhat pissed off said ‘Now you’re here have a cuppa while I just bung this washing in the machine.’ Well, we were work mates and always chatting so why not. (Yes I know you’re ahead of me already). She told me about this nurse and how long he’d been seeing her, and I just said ‘he must be bloody mad! A gorgeous wife like you at home and he has to go elsewhere’ the bloke’s off his nut!’

Sandie was getting a little upset and being the nice guy I am, I said ‘lets have another cuppa and I’ll stay a while. Well, I was out anyway weren’t I.  OK I’ll get to the point.  I was trying to keep her smiling and just put my arm round her, same as I did many times while we were at work even with Him around.  Oh boy! Talk about all at once! Good job her boy was all tucked up in bed. We just went for it and to be honest, it was bloody fantastic – but I guess being so spontaneous it would be.

So, that was that and the next day was a rest day so I didn’t see her for a couple of days.  Next shift was a week of lates, not finishing until just past midnight. As usual I took her home, said goodnight and went home. Very little was said about that evening, and we just got on with being a crew and being mates.

A few months on, being the sensitive type I am, I said : ‘Sandie you’re putting a bit of weight on there babe’. ‘Oh thanks a bunch mate’ and we laughed it off.  During our break she informed me that she was preggers (Nope it didn’t click and she said no more) and would be working until February.  I was then given my rota on the 185 one man bus, which Sandie wasn’t all that pleased about, but she was leaving anyway and I needed the extra cash that came with it, having a littl’un and the trouble and strife not working.

Sandie left to have the baby; a few farewell tears, I didn’t see Gary again, worked the 185s for some time and then had a spell on the 36b at Peckham.  Then we moved to the fens.

OK that was 1976. Now fast forward 37 years

Zoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom        

July 2013

I was sitting right here in front of Pooter logged onto Skype when a friends request popped up with Sandie’s married name.  Here’s what she said.

‘Hi Ray, hope you remember me.  I know it’s been a long time but I have some news for you and please don’t worry about anything.  No doubt you, like me, remember that night back in the 70s and how I left to have my baby.  Well, actually it was and is OUR baby.  A lovely little girl I called Lynsey’

 (funny, that’s the name of one of my old mates from way back when).

‘I never said a word to anyone though Gary guessed but I kicked him out anyway. It didn’t take much working out to know it wasn’t his and he knew it.

I married Richard, a great guy who had his own business and was a wonderful Dad to Lyn, but she soon realised he wasn’t her real Dad, and I promised to tell her when the time was right.  She never bothered me about it but now and then she would say: ‘Is the time right yet Mum?’.  Sadly Richard passed away in 2012 and I thought OK, maybe I can now reveal all.  I sat her down and said ‘Rich has been a brilliant Dad and you must never forget that, but I will now tell you who your real Dad is.  However, he is not aware and never has been.  We cannot cause any problems for him or his family, as it was my decision to keep it quiet in the first place’.

Sandie had kept track of me all these years through a friend who had also moved from London and lived quite near us and knew where I worked, so it wasn’t that difficult really.

She gave me her phone number and I spoke with her one afternoon while walking my little dog.  Oh boy| that was some conversation.  She still lived in the South London area, but her OOPS I Mean OUR daughter lived in Hertford.  We arranged to meet at the station and go for coffee.  And after all those years we had no trouble in recognising each other, and having told her about my problems with walking and sitting etc., we had only a short walk to the Costa (Yeh my favourite). There were only low chairs there and I was somewhat concerned about getting stuck.  ‘Don’t worry, I have it all under control and help will be here’ she assures me.  Sandie ordered the coffees and came back and sat down. Couldn’t believe how good it was to see her again.

Anyway, waitress or should I say barista, comes over with a tray carrying three coffees, and as she put the tray down she looked at me and said : ‘Hello Dad’.  OMG this gorgeous lady cannot possibly be mine| I’m totally gobsmacked. She sat down with us and within seconds we were all in tears.  Looked like we were having a séance.  Lots of talking laughing crying, swapping phone numbers and just feeling fantastic.  We promised to keep in touch as often as possible and there was nothing to worry about with it going any further.  No point causing problems after so many years. 

But I have been down to see them, including my 2 newly discovered grandchildren.  And Lyn’s hubby Peter, a really nice fella.  Soon after, Sandie sold up and moved to live near our daughter.

So there you have it, It was a moment of madness and shouldn’t have happened. But as me and she-who-will-not-be-named-to-protect-the-innocent have not been living the usual married kind of life for more than 20 years, I guess I am happy to have some peeps to visit and enjoy their company.  They have been very good to me with the problems I have; they even offered to put me up if I could get tickets for the Palace v Man U FA final -so life,  I have to say, ain’t that bad.

Believe me, I’ve not felt so happy in many a year, especially since poor little Sheena went to the big dog kennel in the sky.  I can’t help but wish I had known sooner, but I guess that there’s no knowing what the consequences might have been, especially having my lovely girls. I must stop now as my eyes are watering (haha) and my poor old fingers are on fire with all this typing!

 I hope you won’t think badly of me, as I wait and wonder what the future holds for all of us.