DREAMING

Gold cherry

By Alice Hamilton

Mon, 15 Jan 2018
  • 4620 reads
14 comments
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I 

turned a 

golden key to 

open the closet door. 

My dream slipped out and 

smashed on the ebony tiles. A 

thousand shards of shining glass

changed to scalding liquid, 

then to countless

silver coins. 

At 

the market

such tempting stalls.

I purchased honey cake 

sprinkled with nutmeg dust and

poppy seeds. A minstrel strolled nearby, 

velvet doublet and woollen hose,

his song so sweet, 

so very sweet,

I swooned. 

He

carried me 

to a boudoir

lined with pearl and 

gently placed me on a

couch of crimson cushions. The coverlet 

was made of rose petals, 

so soft and fragrant.

I fell asleep 

to dream

again.

 
Certificate U
Poetry Monthly

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

What a perfect way to end a dream.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you. Sadly my own dreams do not end this way!

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

I very much liked the structure of this, and the image of the dream slipping out and smashing on the tiles, releasing all that wonderful imagery, is very effective.  Similarly the way it turns gently around on itself at the end, almost a dream within a dream.  A very rewarding piece.

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you. This is just the kind of feedback I need!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Did you put this in Poetry Monthly as it was a new (risky) poetic form? I thought at first it might be a Fib poem, but it isn't is it? We had to do a Fib poem in a pentathlon competition on ABCtales some time ago. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Yes, that is correct. As risk is the focus for January I decided to experiment with poetic form. I joined ABCtales only last week and Dreaming is my first venture into poetry. Another risk!

 

Submitted by Ewan on

for trying something different, for looking different, for being different, is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day. Why not share or retweet it if you like it too.

Image source is here . It is in the public domain.

 

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you so much! I have not written poetry since my teens. The word ‘risk’ inspired me to try and to try something different - a double risk!

 

Submitted by catherine poarch on

The picture drew me in and then I loved the words. The colours and materials really stand out. I don't know what the structure is either, not being an expert, but visually it's beautiful.

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

A lovely comment - thank you. I don’t know what the structure is either!

 

Submitted by jolono on

Loved the form and structure of this Alice, really good. A big warm welcome to Abctales.

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks for your comment. It was fun to write in this form as I enjoy playing with words. My aim was to reflect the stages of the sleep cycle in both form and structure. I am not sure whether there is a literary term for any of this! Thanks for the warm welcome too.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

You engage all of the senses, a lovely piece!

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks! Your feedback is much appreciated.