Bigger Than The Beatles

Jesus wrestled off a hysterical, screaming fan as he was pulled by his manager into the back of a car with dark windows.
"Look", he said as he slammed the car door behind him, "I can't deal with all this Jesusmania".
"But the people love you", said his manager.
"I know but they keep screaming so much that no one can hear the sermon", said Jesus, "Whats the point in me making sermons if no one can hear them?".
"Well get you a better sound system", said his manager, "One loud enough so they can hear you".
"Okay but thats not the only thing", said Jesus, "Theres also the fainting. People getting so hysterical that they start fainting and have to be carried off by a medical crew. I want to save people, I don't wan't to make them pass out".
"But can you blame them for getting a little hysterical", said his manager, "There in the presence of a living god".
One of the screaming Jesus fans outside banged on the car's front window, pressing a sign that said, "I love you, Jesus" against it.
"I understand that", said Jesus, "But what about the fans who broke into my hotel room and the ones who wanted to camp out on my lawn. I need my privacy as much as anyone you know. Just because I'm famous it doesn't mean they own me".
"Everyone wants to own a piece of you", said his manager, "Thats to be expected but look on the bright side, think of all the merchandising were selling, the holy relics. Everything you touch turns to gold".
"I don't care about money", said Jesus, "Money is the root of all evil".
"True", said his manager, "But without the money how could we pay for your entourage; your hair stylist; your fashion consultant, your personal trainer. You've got to look good if you want to appear on television. Not to mention all your hotel rooms and hired cars and body guards; your personal chef".
"I don't need a personal chef", said Jesus, "I can feed five thousand people with 5 loaves and 2 fishes remember?".
"I hear you", said his manager, "But you can't run a publicity campaign and a tour without spending money. Nothings free, J.C. not these days. And you've also got to remember that your up against Buddah and Mohammed and all those other religious founders not to mention winning over all the Atheists".
"Alright", said Jesus, looking out through the opaque windows of the car at all the screaming fans again, "But how are we going to get back to the hotel? The cars surrounded".
"Don't worry", said his manager, "I've thought of that".
A bearded man in the front passenger seat that looked vaguely similar to Jesus turned round  and smiled.
"Who's that?", asked Jesus.
"Thats Billy Shears", said his manager, "He's your double. He's going to get out of the car and distract your fans while we make a getaway".
"Double? But he doesn't really look like me. Wont people notice? Like the conspiracy theory people? They notice everything", said Jesus.
"No ones going to know a thing", said his manager, "Trust me".
Jesus saw Billy Shears open the door beside him and step out into a crowd of ravenous fans who, surging upon him started clutching at the hem of his garment and trying to rip it off.
"Like Daniel entering the lion's den", said Jesus.
"Well", said his manager, shrugging, "Thats showbusiness".