Brightness without burning

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Mon, 25 Jun 2018
  • 2972 reads
11 comments
 

Sitting sheltered in the shade,
Leafy filters cool the skin,
soothe the eyes, and thoughts within:
shielded in the noonday hour
from the shaft’s full shining power,.
soaking in summer delight
while shaded from bombarding light.

[IP: In the shade]

 

Certificate U
Poem
Nature
Nature
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This trips so beautifully off the tongue Rhiannon - it's a wonderful response to the IP, thank you for posting it!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Insert. I enjoyed it coming together, despite writing before at times on similar themes! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

And thank you for the cherries. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

This is beautifully described. Such a musical sound.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you. I appreciate that. Welsh poetry usually goes for a musical sound, and i'm generally trying for that! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Lovely Rhiannon, leafy filters, what more could you wish for. There is no better place than the shade to watch nature play out on a hot day. Unfortunately I was working in the sun today and felt quite sick in Reading, it was baking!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you , Jane. That must have been very trying. I hope you have a cool evening! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

this is beautiful! All the sh and th  and oo sounds, made me think of softness but then the sh sound becomes the noise of a weapon "shaft’s full shining power" and it ends not soft at all with "bombarding light"

And it was so satisfying to read I didn't even notice the rhymes till reading a second time. Just that it seemed perfect, balanced.

"soaking in summer delight" is exactly how I felt this afternoon in the shade looking up at the rambling rose with all the bees in it.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Di, I always appreciate your analysis of the effects of the sounds. I like rhymes to be unobtrusive but useful when I use them!

Your afternoon relax sounds lovely, especially with the hum of the bees. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

A charming, well rhymed, poem nicely describing an idyllic interlude on a summer day, in the shade, sheltered by the fierce sun. 

Best, Luigi x
 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Luigi. Glad you enjoyed structure and content. Rhiannon