The Dirt Road

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Jane Hyphen

Fri, 24 Aug 2018
  • 6314 reads
20 comments
 

 

I know you took the dirt road

From the dead rays of your eyes

Wan pulse, jitter currents fire you

You're here but barely there

Where have you been these years?

With only wear to show

Rag-jagged now your soul

It snags on routine threads

I see you took the dirt road

To here and nowhere now

Dust forever in your lungs

Joints twist upon the hidden

Traps, the unlit, winding path

And snakes that lie in wait

 

Trust you to choose the dirt road

To walk and walk til every

Cell of youth be spent and gone

Nothing left to show except

Your grainy memories, flashes

Of your passage, years in dreams

And faces loved and lost

In filthy pot-hole puddles

Now to cling to you as shadows

Leaden spirits stain your truth

Why did you take the dirt road?

To chase raw deliverance and

Shun the safety of the paved way

They parted seas for you

To walk at ease, ascend ladders

As they held on tight and watched

 

You chose to take the dirt road

Both cowardly and brave

To walk an unmade road alone

Unmeasured in your stride

Accrue the unknown riches

That grow inside unseen

Like little crystals in the dark

Hidden in a dull, cold stone

Worn and rough from rolling

On and on the dirt road

 

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I really like this, it flows well.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Jenny, thanks, I wrote it in one block and was apprehensive about where to divide it so pleased to hear that you think it flows well, flow is something I've been struggling with lately.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

yes, I agree with Jenny - this is one to read and re-read. 

2 suggestions:

I'm not sure about extant

I think it might be accrue

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Insert, I played around with that a bit, I'm still not sure it's right but I think it's better. Good suggestion.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Quite enigmatic, but the impression of rebelliousness against expectations and conventions bringing weary troubles, but also some gems of experience and contact. Left feeling how is he feeling about life now? Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Rhiannon, thanks for your comment. You're spot on with your analysis as usual, as for how he's feeling now, old I guess and possibly a bit short changed but as we know, people who live a fully conventional life and gain material wealth have big midlife breakdowns too. 

 

Submitted by rjnewlyn on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day! Please share/retweet if you like it

Picture Credit: http://freeaussiestock.com/free/Northern_Territory/slides/dirt_road.htm

(Jane Hyphen - the image has been added for publicity purposes. Do feel free to change or remove it if you'd prefer)

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks so much for this rjnewlyn and the picture is perfect.

 

Submitted by celticman on

yeh, I really like this, getting down and dirty. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks celticman, sometimes it's the only way.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

This needs a bit of effort, like opening a geode, then more and more bits start to sparkle

"snakes that lie in wait"

"To chase raw deliverance and

Shun the safety of the paved way"

"Both cowardly and brave

To walk an unmade road alone"

The repetition of "dirt road" reminds me of the THUD  of a boulder pushed and landing on a flat side, then pushed and landing again. The question that keeps coming back for those who don't step off the kerb, whos feet only feel the flat

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Di_Hard interesting that you use the geode analogy because I was picturing a geode while I was writing the last part. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

it's such a clever metaphor - soap bubbles are light and fragile and wear their rainbows on the outside, stone bubbles look like nothing special but have treasure inside. Like a story teller

 

Submitted by johnshade on

I think I know that dirt road... you try to escape the monotony and hypocrisy of the paved path, but somehow you end up with a different kind of emptiness. Cowardly and brave indeed.

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for your comment johnshade. A different kind of emptiness yes and we're all obsessed with being full.

 

Submitted by forest_for_ever on

I love poems that evoke imanges and this one (for me) is full of them.  I was also taken to 'Nowhere Man' by the Beatles and 'Crossroads' by Don McLean. I guess its the roads connection, but for me poems that take my mind on a journey are worth reading more than once and I shall be re-reading this for while.

As to here and nowhere now... I   really like that line. 

a beautiful piece.

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi forest thanks for your comment.

 

Submitted by thornwood on

Your poem had a sting.

Keep writing.

Stephen d

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Stephen thanks for reading. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you very much for the pick, it was a lovely surprise xx