In the Blink of an Eye

By ancientscrolls

Tue, 22 Jan 2019
  • 1208 reads
4 comments
 

In the blink of an eye my life was gone, 

In the blink of an eye I became an old soul, 

In the blink of an eye I became an old man. 

 

I was stuck in the past so, time punished me for this, 

I was stuck in nostalgia so, time punished me for this, 

I was stuck in my own thoughts so, time punished me for this. 

 

My life passed by me in the blink of an eye, 

My world passed by me in the blink of an eye, 

My youth passed by me in the blink of an eye. 

 

I was clouded from seeing all the good things happening right now, 

I was clouded from seeing all the opportunities happening right now, 

I was clouded from seeing all the prosperity happening right now. 

 

Because I was too attached to the past, 

Because I was too attached to nostalgia, 

Because I was too attached to the old ways. 

 

Lost in the sands of time was my youth, 

Lost in the sands of time was my dreams, 

Lost in the sands of time was my soul. 

 

Time is not gentle to those who want it to stay stuck, 

Time is not gentle to those who want it to stay still, 

Time is not gentle to those who want to slow it.

Certificate U
Poem
Spiritual
Philosophy

Comments

Submitted by Nolan on

There is a lot of repetition are these meant as lyrics? For the most part in poetry there is not too much repetition it doesn't work that well, but in pop music for instance it is often very successful given a catchy tune.

Your lines might work well and as for a song of deep sadness.

Welcome to ABC! & Nolan

 

Submitted by ancientscrolls on

Thank you for the feedback!

It's nice to be in a community, where everyone is trying to help each other out to improve their writings. Hopefully I will be as good as some of the veterans in the ABC community one day.

To be honest I was trying to write a poem. But I'm still a rookie at doing so. Hopefully I will get better in the future.

Thanks for the song suggestion! I might try using it for a song when I'm playing the guitar. My inspiraion for this piece I wrote is mostly from Alan Poe, Nietszsche's Nihilism and by listening to some sad songs from bands such as Motion City Soundtrack and The Used. 

Anyways hopefully I will get better at writing poetry in a not so far future. I will be careful to not sound too repetitive in my future poems. Thanks for the constructive feedback mate!

Cheers mate,

 

Submitted by hilary west on

Hi,

I liked some of the repetition, I guess everyone is different, but as said it is a bit like song lyrics. It is true we must live in the moment, not let time take from us.

Hilary      smiley

 

Submitted by ancientscrolls on

Thank you,

It's good to have pleasant memories about the past. But all too often some people stay stuck in their past for too long and forget to enjoy all the amazing things happening in the present. When they finally decide to enjoy the present it's too late. What I wrote is all about this. 

Also, thanks for the feedback!