September Chills
By Jane Hyphen
- 5633 reads
September
The dread tread
Of rolling bombs
Loose in the pit
Of my stomach
Cold dawn
New term chills
Crack whack jabs
Of hockey sticks
Torture of team picks
Grey clothes
Drawing darkness
Daggers in the corridors
Only dirty shelters here
Who and how to be?
Heavy Bag
Imprinted shoulder
Hard shoes blood rub
Harsh words blood rush
Teacher’s bloodless glare
The final bell
Grab coat, bags
Urban forest scurry
Breath into the front door
Eat drink, curl, numb
- Log in to post comments
Comments
Taut, jabbing lines,
Taut, jabbing lines, emphasising the unsettling content. So clever in its combination of things - it gave me a rolling feeling in the pit of my own stomach when I read about the 'torture of team picks' and reminded me of feeling physically sick when I went back to school in September. At the same time there's the reflection of violence that stalks the young in the modern 'urban forest'. And the drawing in of days, the general darkening that comes with autumn. Great piece.
- Log in to post comments
Hi Jane,
Hi Jane,
you've certainly captured the atmosphere of a school day at beginning of a new term.
Jenny.
- Log in to post comments
A tough environment when you
A tough environment when you are sensitive teenagers, and the sneering/bullying by those afraid of themselves losing their place in the popularity, and yes, PE for those who don't enjoy it. It so helps if you find a good group of trusted friends! Rhiannon
- Log in to post comments
winer bites early. dark at
winer bites early. dark at eight. Just you wait...
- Log in to post comments
This reminds me of school so
This reminds me of school so badly. You evoke the feeling of a mind made raw.
How is your one who was disappointed by their exam results?
- Log in to post comments
Our poem of the week! Well
Our poem of the week! Well done!
- Log in to post comments
A great read. I feel like a
A great read. I feel like a squirrel chasing one stanza, then another, making sure I capture all the puzzle-pieces.
- Log in to post comments
I am glad she is better! It
I am glad she is better! It is good you are kind and supporting her - my brothers and I still remember when our results came, the aweful talks. It's strange, my school we were expected to take as many as we could, had to re take maths and french over and over. But in Scotland, my son is only allowed to take 6! He had to drop French (he is good at languages) in order to do biology, which seems bonkers to me. But I am glad he is not pressured like I was, and your daughter. It seems so WRONG at the most creative, intense, changing time of one's life to be expected to remember loads of wriitten stuff, which will never be needed again - is like spending ages making keys for doors of rooms in buildings you will never visit. I hope she makes lots of good, beautiful memories instead
- Log in to post comments