gloaming

Cherry

By Di_Hard

Thu, 28 Nov 2019
  • 3208 reads
14 comments
 

Charcoal-soft dark calls, silk wings oil-easy

under cinder blue. Llightless, sky heavies

falls to tall birch tops' black lace twigs, pillared

on slim-gleaming trunks.

 

Paths swim shadow-shoaled

safe from hunting eyes as distance comes close

and home's time hidden. Then, the ravens roost

 

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

You draw the picture of the twilight and settling silence for the hunters and hunted. birch tops' black lace twigs, pillared on slim-gleaming trunks. is a lovely description.

Rhiannon

[Llighless  – is that a typo?, and I think you need to lose the 's' in sky heavies falls …] Rh

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much Rhiannon :0) I should wear my glasses when writing! I had read it through lots of times and didn't notice. Thankyou for critiquing, that's exactly what I was trying to convey. "settling silence" is lovely, I wish I had thought of it!

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

apart from the typo which Rhiannon's already spotted, this is so beautifully put together. You have a real talent for these little gems Di - well done!

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Insert :0) And thankyou for the cherries

 

Submitted by drew_gummerson on

Indeed it is, a little gem. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Drew :0) A lettuce of letters :0)

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

This poem reads like a piece of art, I could picture the scene in a water colour painting Di, with those delicate shades of black lace twigs pillard on slim-gleaming trunks. Just love those lines.

But then I could also see the deep richness of those last three lines as an oil painting too, with the raven being such a bird of strength that only oils could really do it justice, like your poem certainly does.

A passionate read indeed, because I see your love for all birds.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much Jenny! What a lovely comment!

I got a treat that afternoon because when going for a walk, later than usual, there was the brilliant bird photographer John Williams in the streeet for the starlings! He takes AMAZING  pictures of the wildlife on the island, so they are famous now :0) And there is a Bird Club here, which I didn't know about, and I am trying to persuade my partner to go to a meeting, as he knows so much about all the birds which he feeds. With John Williams was a gentleman from the bird club who said there had been a sea eagle seen that day!!!

Thankyou again for reading and making such a kind comment. I hope things are ok with you

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Sounds fantastic!

Get involved! :)

Lovely very descriptive piece, just as long as it needs to be. Lovely reveal reminds me of how we were taught to "unwind" large trucks towards the exit of a roundabout.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

wow, can you do that?  How on earth do you learn to do that without causing mass destruction?I used to admire so much the lorry drivers who backed into the Sainsbury's yard, lining up exactly to the big back door - on the first go! Not even seeming to look in the mirrors, just swinging in.

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

There's a lorry driver's Web site called "Reversing in the Real World" - if it's still about. You have to renew your license every 5 years over 45 I think. I gave mine up last time around whilst in Madrid.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

learn something new every day :0)

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Beautiful. Love the lightness and the looming dark. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou :0)