A Slip of the Mother Tongue

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By MJG

Wed, 04 Dec 2019
  • 1781 reads
9 comments
 

 

Dialect of my mother -

burbled from rain-sodden currents in Derry’s Foyle,

meltwater brogue of bogs, fairies and goblins,

smoky with bacon, whiskey and cigarettes, drawled around peat fires.

 

 

Dredged across Irish Sea into River Mersey.

Windswept, weathered, sing-song notes, tempered

 by fights in wild lands and wilder streets,

tales of long-dead, ever-present Troubles.

 

A bitter marriage let loose her lips in Liverpool,

riven with gin and tobacco,

her rhythmic cadence

rooted in me.

 

In Somerset, my guttural sounds evaporate,

easy as mists on the Levels,

flattened like sea-salted marshes,

releasing a twang of mud-soft tones that dip and rise.

 

This mix of burr and buttercup vowels

amongst cider-thick slang,

slipping through gorse.

sloping orchard’s limestone walls.

 

Still, the marbled north lurks, sedimented,

until a slip of the Mother tongue,

un-snares.

Reveals.

 

 

Certificate PG
Poem
Romance

Comments

Submitted by drew_gummerson on

I like the movement of language through this. 

 

Submitted by MJG on

 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

i like your images of the landscape, also how you link accent with water - sea, rain, mists, phlegm (!) How language like water is everywhere, acid or soft, salt or sweet, in the air, on the ground (page?) in us.The last lines  I thought were about a kiss. But then thought about a child picking up their parent's accent of far away from where they have learned to talk and blend in.

A rich poem I enjoyed reading very much

 

Submitted by MJG on

I loved your comments. It's really helped especially with your very different take on the ending, that hadn't occurred to me at all but it would make better sense! Thank you so much.!

 

Submitted by MJG on

It's been lovely to receive the pick of the week award.... and after looking at the comment I went back to the poem and revised, tightened it and added an ending that had more of a connection to the start of the poem. I'm happy to put both up if anyone wants to see what I've done and why I think this version is better. Well, I hope so, thank you for this close reading which has changed the way I see the poem. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I'm so glad your wonderful poem has got pick of the week, and if you feel anything I said helped, as I have been helped so much by suggestions from writers here. You have made my day :0)

 

Submitted by MJG on

Thank you... your suggestions made me think about linking the first line with the last and how language is passed on, or in particular, dialects and what it means to hear words spoken with an accent, how you belong to a tribe immediately because of it. And then I wanted to add more words to do with accents, so it's you I thank...x

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Such a wonderful sense of place and connection.  This is our facebook and twitter pick of the day - do share if you like it too!

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Our fragrant poem of the week - well done!