Angel 82 (the best part of her)

When they got the door Bruno rushed out in shirt sleeves and pink slippers and embraced Angel, almost knocking her off her feet. ‘Jesus,’ he said, ‘ya stupid cow, you had me worried…had us worried.’

He rolled his eyes, turned his head slightly to include Tony, who lurked in the doorway behind him.

Tony smiled shyly his gaze travelling beyond Angel to her new friends.

Angel kissed Bruno’s stubbly cheek and held her arms out and the bucktoothed boy rubbed Adam’s head before she took her son from him. The bigger of the two boys held back, even the way he slouched was a bit like Tony she thought.  

‘This is my two knights in shining armour,’ she laughed, waving a hand in their direction. ‘They saved me.’

‘How?’ Bruno eyed them with curiosity and warmth.

‘Well,’ Angel was going to tell her story, but she bit her lip. ‘I don’t even know your names! Whit are they?’

‘I’m Peter,’ said the bucktoothed kid.

‘Cleggo,’ said his pal.

‘You two boys want to come in?’ Bruno asked them.

They smirked at each other and Peter spoke for both of them. ‘No mister, we’ve got better things to dae.’

‘Well, maybe another time?’ said Bruno.

‘Aye,’ The plastic bag hitting against Cleggo’s knees as he answered. ‘Maybe.’

Adam howled as Angel shoved him towards Bruno and deposited him like an unwanted parcel of arms and legs on his chest to keep still. She darted to the side and kissed Peter on the side of the cheek. ‘Thanks,’ she squeezed his hand and looked into his bright eyes.

‘Nae bother,’ he said, looking away.

Cleggo backed away pink cheeked and addressed his pal. ‘We’ve got to be goin’, eh?’  

Angel didn’t see what way they went as Adam’s roaring meant she had to deal with him. She followed Bruno into his flat trying to calm her son. Tony came out and following in at her back lifted her holdall into the house for her.  

‘Seemed like nice boys’, said Bruno when they were settled in the living room.

Angel sunk into the dusty settee, a splash of red-cloth throw over the back like an antimacassar to keep it clean. The wallpaper was nicotine yellow and the carpets sticky.  Tony deposited the holdall at her feet and perched on the arm of the couch.

‘I need to wash my hands,’ she roused herself and stood up, sniffing them she made a face. ‘They’re minging.’ She clutched Adam and kissed his hair. ‘And I need to get this one something to eat. He’ll be starving’.

Tony flung a finger in the direction of the door behind her back. ‘Kitchen’s through there.’

A kitchen table solid enough looking but the wood a greenish colour. Tony’s denim jacket hung over a pine wooden chair using it as a cloth rack with the Venetian blinds half-open.   Most of the table was covered in loose leaf drawings, some in charcoal others coloured. An A3 sized book propped open with a glazed brown ashtray.

‘Toilet’s in there,’ Tony nodded. ‘You already passed it at the front door.’

‘Great, I’m burstin’,’ she left Adam on the couch, went to squeeze past him. ‘Keep an eye on him – will yeh?’

‘We’ve no’ got any kid’s stuff to eat, but we could maybe do eggs, eggy-peggies like we used to do when we were wee.’ Tony’s face lit up, ‘Member?’

‘That’s great!’ she said with little enthusiasm and rushed past him.

When she came back to the toilet Bruno had taken the initiative and pulled Adam across and propped him up against his thigh and was stroking his forehead. Tony had his back to her and he was holding Adam’s chunky little hand and kissing his wrist and arm.

She stood for a moment watching them and felt the sobs building up in the back of her throat. She pressed against her hand against her mouth and she tried to concentrate on practical matters.   ‘Did you get him something to drink?’

Tony let go of Adam’s hand. ‘No, I’ll get it,’ he stood up quickly as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘And I put some eggs on, or fish fingers?’

‘Oh, let him get on with it,’ Bruno said in a mocking tone. ‘That yin doesnae know whit to dae with himself.’ He looked up at Angel. ‘You look as if you could dae with a long rest anyway. I could run a hot bath for you, put a couple of scented candles and some smelly stuff in it. I could shave your legs if you like, pamper you?’

She sat down beside him and when Adam began to whinge pulled him across. She rubbed his chest, ‘We’ll get you something to eat…oh, yes, we will. Uncle Tony will feed you, oh, yes he will…and Uncle Bruno will put you to bed.’

Her head fell on to Adam’s stomach and chest and she sniffled and buried her tears in his Babygro, her body shaking. She blubbered so loudly Tony came in from the kitchen and stood beside her, holding a red-checked dish towel.

Tony patted her shoulder, ‘If you don’t want eggs, that’s alright. I’ll no’ be offended.’

Bruno snapped at him. ‘Leave her a minute. Gie her a bit of time.’

Her eyes rid-rimmed, she raised her head and shook her head. She swallowed a few times before she could get the words out. ‘I just cannae dae it…’

Bruno leaned over and rubbed her arm. ‘Cannae dae whit, pet?’

‘Take care of him.’ She squeezed her eyes shut, ‘I want him, I want him, want him so much to have a life. A good life, but I cannae help him. I love him so much. Love him so much. Love him.’

She couldn’t speak for a few minutes.

Bruno sobbed too and Tony had tears in his eyes, but he turned his head away from her and nodded in recognition of their shared past.

When she finally did speak, she said, ‘I want you to bring him up for me.’ Bruno went to say something but she held her hand up. ‘I can go back to prison knowing that he’s getting properly looked after. Otherwise—’    

‘Otherwise, whit?’ Bruno asked.

‘Angel don’t dae this,’ Tony got on his knees and hugged her around the waist. ‘Don’t dae it. We’ll be there for you.’

She ran her fingers through Tony’s fine hair. ‘At one time I’d kinda hoped, dreamt, in fact, that me and you would get together, but that time is well past. I just want you to promise that you’ll take care of Adam.’

She looked across at Bruno, ‘You too Bruno, I want you to be a father to him.’

‘I’ll be a mother to him,’ said Bruno, ‘And if I get any fatter wae these man boobs.’ He jiggled his chest. ‘I’ll be able to breast feed him.’  

They laughed through their tears.

‘You cannae seriously think we could take care of Adam –dae yeh?’ Tony asked.

‘Yes I do. Whit I cannae consider is him getting taken away from me and taken into care. We know whit that’s like. You’re a good man Tony, you were always there for me.’ She turned to Bruno. ‘I know you and him bicker like an old married couple. And I love yeh tae bits, but I’m asking you to dae this thing for me. This big thing. I’m gieing you my life and asking you to take care of it.’

‘Angel,’ he leaned across and patted her arm. ‘I love you tae…but I don’t know if we can.’

She sighed and pulled Adam’s little hood up over his head.

‘I’ll dae it,’ said Tony.

‘Whit?’ she looked up at him.

‘I’ll dae it,’ said Tony. ‘My life’s a fuckin’ mess. I can at least dae one good thing wae it. And that cunt’ll help me.’

‘I didnae think you’d be up for it,’ said Bruno. ‘That’s how I didn’t offer right away. I didnae know you wanted kids.’

‘Bruno,’ he said. ‘It’s kid, singular, not kids and it’s no’ our child. Get a bit real about this.’

‘You know whit I mean,’ said Bruno.

‘You think I’m a selfish cunt? Is that it?’

‘Well, aye,’ said Bruno. ‘You ur…Always have been.’

‘Well, I wisnae gonnae be the one that was going to let him rot in a children’s home. You were.’

‘Wisnae.’

Angel picked up Adam and hugged him. She squeezed her face against his and sobbed. ‘I need to sign a bit of paper Bruno, saying you’re his dad. And when I go back to prison I need to tell them I left Adam with his father. You’ve got a lot of lawyer friends that can help you. You up for that?’

‘Bring it on, I hate those bastards mere than you. I love a good fight.’

She reached across and squeezed Tony’s fingers. ‘I want you to be a father to him and love him as your own.’

‘I will,’ he said, then rephrased it. ‘I will do the very best that I possibly can. I promise.’