Muse
By skinner_jennifer
- 1827 reads
This gorgeous summer's day I should be off with my sisters,
yet! in this moment I decline. I feel this kingdom my home
where I've tasted success, that you've captured its essence
with passion...of course you are just living for art and I'm your
muse to discover,
I wonder! Do your brush strokes convey playful thoughts? Oh!
For aspirations tormenting me when my valour is weak, flesh
succumbs to your pallet with each gaze...though you see me as
too genteel.
You are like a mirage in an Arabian desert, I search moist lips
wondering at wet kisses, as harboured thoughts give rise to
self-restraint, or am I too hard on myself with all this babbling?
Maybe I'm transparent as we become more comfortable,
your caution giving rise to confusion in my credulous mind.
Not sure if this is an ekphrastic poem, but thought I'd give it a go.
Portrait of Leonilla, Princess of Sayn Wittgenstien 1843,
by Franz Xaver Winterhalter.
On pixabay free.
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Comments
Jennifer, what can i say? I
Jennifer, what can i say? I really really enjoyed that. you can tell you had fun with it
well done!
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I love the joy in language
I love the joy in language that you convey with this. As mono said, you can tell that the writer has enjoyed herself!
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I think this is great,
I think this is great, especially your last stanza, the perspective of the muse is a very clever angle, I think. :)
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This is great Jenny - I hope
This is great Jenny - I hope you'll have some more fun with the IP before it disappears next week
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Yes Jenny, it is indeed an
Yes Jenny, it is indeed an ekphrastic poem as the sentiments expressed in it are definitely inspired by the languid and dreamy pose of the sitter, the princess Leonilla. I enjoyed, as other readers did, the joyful tone of the verses. I know that all writers have their own distinctive style so If I may be so bold as to make a couple of wee suggestions, I would dispense with the 'yet' at the beginning of the second line, add an 'as' to 'harboured thoughts' and I would change the enjambment on the second and third line of the last stanza to read:
"wondering at wet kisses, as harboured thoughts give rise to
self-restraint, or am I too hard on myself with all this babbling?"
They are small cosmetic changes that do not affect the overall meaning of the poem. So well done on another accomplished piece of work.
Luigi xx
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