Wandering Albatross

Cherry

By onemorething

Wed, 19 May 2021
  • 1586 reads
10 comments
 

A wandering albatross is born

to a storm, breathed

from the lung of sky.

 

No memory of mine is pinned

by photograph, I was not a baby,

I do not know my young face. 
 

Salt and stone, the plumage

of ocean and cloud, the crook

of a beak, the meek forgotten.

 

Perhaps I was never a child,

as if I had not existed then at all,

and sprung into being as an adult.

 

Does a chick remember its nest,

or first, faltered flight, absent 

of reference, of measure of time?

 

I did not ask my mother why 

there were no pictures of me anywhere -

I both knew and feared the answer.

 

On an outcrop, she roosts

upon a moon, eyes the blue

dominion, feathered in awe.

 

I, though born to starch and bleach;

a cold ward, must have smelled the brine

in waves that lapped at the hospital's shore.

 

A wandering albatross can live for decades,

but how does she know?  Head bowed

seaward, to the shadow of her own reflection.

 

And my shame lies in the question,

the impossibility of a reply of, this is me 

when, or this is me at eight or ten.
 

 

Image is from here: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bul02BirdP040.jpg

 

Also on Twitter: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stormy_Sea_MET_DP803817.jpg

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Black-browed_Albatross_Chick_(5545256969).jpg

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Golden_cosmic_egg_Hiranyagarbha_by_Manaku.jpg

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Comments

Submitted by bhi on

OMT, there is always the possibility of a reply, and you have created the framework for that reply. 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Ah well, she is no longer alive. But I don't need to ask, the poem is just an expression of my sadness about it.  Thank you for taking the time to read it. :)

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Rachel,

I like how you connect with the albatross with each stanza, like you feel an affinity with this bird. It must be so sad not to have at least one photo of yourself as a baby or young child to charge memories.

It's good to be able to get those feelings out in a poem and express yourself, which you've done impeccably here.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thank you Jenny. Yes, of all things sometimes it feels a relatively small thing, but it has always made me feel sad and slightly alien compared to most people. And also very exposed if the topic comes up which I suppose adds to my sadness about it. I'm happy you liked the poem. It's funny what comes up, but, as you said, good to get it out sometimes. Rachel :)

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Some beautiful lines in this onemore - I particularly love the first stanza. I hope you might think of reading this one at our next virtual reading? Also - it's nice to see less 'I might delete this' messages under your poems - (unless you're just deleting them now laugh) - we are all the richer for them staying up

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thank you! Yes, I could well read this one. I definitely plan to read at the next one. Paul is going to as well next time because we figured out at the last one that if we turned our cameras off like Simon did, then it's less daunting! And no, no mysterious deletions, I have stopped saying that, haven't I - exposure therapy - it's getting easier clearly! :)

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

You've made something very beautiful out of what is obviously a sadness for you, Rachel. The fact that you retain a child-like wonder at the the world around you, which you can put in such wonderful poetry, tells you a great deal about the child who became you.

Submitted by onemorething on

That's very lovely, airyfairy, thank you! Am happy you liked it. Before reading it, someone said that they were sure I'd written about an albatross before, and they were right - this is albatross poem no.3. But albatrosses are amazing and they have the best chicks so...there may be yet more albatross in the future. :)

 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

an important thing I have learned to try to do, although I am not good at it, is to let childhood go, you had no control over it, you were a child. At the time, I thought it was my fault, but now I have my own child, I know nothing is his fault. If you were not treasured as you should have been, you must must must try to let it go, or you are moving in thorns always

i remember how surprised I was when a councellor first told me it wasn't my fault my mum didn't want me, that she didn't have the right to keep hitting me, even when I was grown up. Once I knew this, I must have changed because she hardly did after that? I bet councellors have told you this, too? There is no reason why a person would choose to be weighed down with guilt and sorrow. You picked them up because that's all there was, and you can choose to put them down, now you have the whole world at your fingertips :0)

In a way, you are lucky, the sparkling, interested, fascinating person you are is made by YOU, not shaped by anyone else. You think you are weak because you have no foundations, but you were BORN FLYING

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Di, what a very sweet and kind comment. I'm ok with feeling sad about these things sometimes, they are sad, but none of what happened when I was a child was my fault, you're right, it's important to know that part.  I love the idea of being born flying too. Thanks Di. x