BBC TV Listings, Wednesday January 21st 2032.

Cherry

By Kilb50

Thu, 20 Jan 2022
  • 2464 reads
15 comments
 

BBC TV Listings, Wednesday January 21st 2032.

 

 

BBC 1

 

 

06.00 Dame Kathryn Jenkins sings ‘Brexitannia Rules the Waves’ followed by the national anthem.

 

06.05-06.10 Government announcement: Updates on the latest Covid figures and food, fuel and energy shortages

 

06.10-09.00 Good Morning with Nigel and Nadine. Joining Nigel Farage and Nadine Dorres on the sofa this morning are: National treasures Lord and Lady Cameron; American icon John Voight, who is in the UK campaigning in favour of the government’s new ‘guns for all’ legislation; and Ted Nugent who will be playing songs from his latest album, Stop the Steal (Obama is the f***in’ devil).

 

09.00-10.00 Top tips for Stay-at-Home Mums. Ann Widdecombe and her panel offer everyday lifestyle tips for the nation’s hard-working mums. Includes Ann’s regular features: the art of embroidery; sharp elbows when hunting for bargains; make do and mend; and how to honour your husband in the kitchen and the bedroom.

 

10.00-11.00 Cookery Today with Princess Nut-Nut. Everyone’s favourite plant-based chef Princess Nut-Nut shows you how to make the most of your government food vouchers.

 

11.00-12.00 Thanksgiving service. Live from Westminster Abbey we celebrate the ten-years anniversary since the ruling Conservative government defeated the hated Covid 19 virus.

 

12.00-12.30 Local news, including Thanksgiving services in your area for the ten-years anniversary of the ruling Conservative government’s defeat of the hated Covid 19 virus.

 

12.30-13.30 National and international news, including reports from Thanksgiving services from around the country to celebrate the ten-years anniversary of the ruling Conservative government’s defeat of the hated Covid 19 virus.

 

13.30-15.30 Live coverage of a special reception hosted by King Andrew and Queen Fergie to celebrate 22 years of Conservative rule.

 

15.30-16.30 Antiques Road Challenge. Matt Hancock and Anne Marie Trevelyan go head-to-head in this exciting antiques-based contest. Tonight, Matt finds a bargain when he discovers a rare 18th century love wand.

 

16.30-18.00 Pointless special. Conservative politicians, past and present, bid to win the Pointless trophy.

 

18.00-18.30 International and national news. Updates on the looming war with the EU.

 

18.30-19.00 Local news. Including the popular item, Dig Your Own Air Raid Shelter.

 

19.00-19.10 Party political broadcast on behalf of the Conservative Party.

 

19.10-20.00 The One Show with Piers Morgan. A special edition in which Piers visits US President Don Trump jnr at his Mar-a-largo estate. With the UK-US trade agreement moving ever closer, President Trump II will be outlining the benefits the deal will bring to the UK, focusing on private health care, genetically modified beef, easier access for Brits to buy guns, and the upcoming take-over of ITV by Fox. Look out for a version of Proud to be an American sung by first lady Kimberly Guilfoyle, especially for all of her fans in the UK.

 

20.00-22.00 Film: Bravo Two EU. Fact based action thriller about two British patriots who are parachuted into Europe to hunt down a rogue English businessman who has been agitating to re-join the hated bloc. (Contains scenes of violence and food shortages).

 

22.00 News at Ten. Updates on the looming war with the EU.

 

22.30-23.30 Great Thinkers of our Time. Host Iain Dunkin Smith interviews Andrew Bridgen. Iain and Andrew discuss euthanising the homeless.

 

23.30-23.40 Weather

 

23.40-23.50 National Anthem and goodnight.

 

 

 

BBC 2

 

 

06.00 National anthem.

 

06.05-09.00 Kids TV. Everybody’s favourite childrens entertainers Bozo Boris and Dilyn the dog, live from the magic garden. Today, Dilyn has been pooping on the grass again. Join Bozo as he hunts for Dilyn’s turds and gives them all a jolly good shine.

 

09.00-10.00 Today in Court special. Live from the Old Bailey as former SNP MPs receive their sentences for sedition.

 

10.00-13.00 World Football Soccer League. Highlights from yesterday’s games, including: Juve Google v Newcastle Emirates; Real Facebook v Manchester Microsoft; Inter Miami v Aston Paypal.

 

13.00-14.30 Afternoon concert. Live music celebrating 22 years of Conservative rule. Introduced by Prime Minister Liz Truss. Including performances by those ever-popular chart toppers Wilf Johnson and Tory Girlz.

 

14.30-16.30 Documentary about the Conservatives record breaking 22 years in office. Tonight: The Royal Navy’s War against Migrants. Also, BBC Director-General Steve Baker explains how all BBC and government appointees are now rigorously vetted in the ongoing war against Wokeness and Remainerism. (Repeat)

 

16.30-17.30 Patriotic Poetry Please! Jacob Rees-Mogg’s ground-breaking series. Tonight, Jacob investigates Victorian poetry and explains why the government’s law that all poetry must rhyme is so important for the health of the nation.

 

17.30-18.30 A History of English Theatre. Laurence Fox on why Shakespeare was a true-blue Conservative, an anti-woke pioneer, and not at all gay.

 

18.30-20.00 The English Civil Wars. Michael Fabricant’s ground-breaking series. Tonight: The Terrors of Cromwell’s Hated Communist Interregnum and the glory and magnificence of Charles II and the Restoration.

 

20.00-22.00 Evening prayers and choral music from Eton.

 

22.00-23.00 Newsnight with Dan Wooton. 

 

23.00-23.45 A Personal View. Tonight, the Archbishop of Canterbury gives thanks to God for 22 years of uninterrupted Tory rule. 

 

23.45-23.55 Government announcement: Operation Try and Keep Warm. Details of where the elderly can pick up their free survival blankets.

 

23.55 National anthem and goodnight.

Certificate 15
Story

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

I think this is unlikely as a Trump presidecy, Oops, that happened. 

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

I forgot to add the intimidation & blackmail. Cheers celtic!

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

This is so good! I was going to try writing a rant about what the government is doing to the BBC but won't now, your humour is way sharper. Boris and dog, the One Show, Great Thinkers of Our Time, it's ALL brilliant :0) So wish I could do this instead of just moaning

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

Write your rant, Di - I'd love to read it! All the best.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Fervently hoping this never happens!

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

It's already happening, insert. Every time I turn on the Beeb its filled to the rafters with smug right-whingers who see the Beeb as a 'biased' organisation but are only too happy to take their share of the licence fee.

 

Submitted by Ewan on

If not tomorrow, very soon!

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by donignacio on

Uh oh...

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

...here comes Matt Hancock with his 18th century love wand...

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Have just listened to this very interesting program :

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0013hk2

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

Thanks for the link, Di - an interesting discussion. I agree that the BBC funding model needs to change; also that a household levy is probably the best solution (which I experienced when I lived in Scandinavia). I disagreed, though, with the commentator who denied the UK goverment is trying to influence the national broadcaster's editorial content, as is the case in Hungary & Poland - that's simply not true. The Tories do it through their attack dogs in the right wing media, namely the Telegraph, Mail, Express & Sun. BBC 'bias' is usually shorthand for views that aren't compatible with Bozo's view of the world! All the best.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

endless sporting events

Cooking programmes

antiques hunts and game shows

celebrity game shows with celebrities I've never heard of

Programmes showing you how to be a property developer

Programmes about people with hundreds of thousands forcing up property prices in the country side

cooking programmes (2)

Travel programmes with cooking local recipes

Drama programmes franchised out to private film makers

repeats, repeats repeats 

repeats

programmes about trying to make shit loads of money or getting top management jobs

celebrity cooking programmes

cooking competitions for people who can't cook

cooking competitions for people who can cook

sorry I'm repeating myself.

 

 

 

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

To be honest, Ed, I mainly listen to the radio, although I do have a certain affection for Masterchef & Spring/Autumn/Winterwatch. There are too many books still to read & not that many years left to read them! All the best

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Ha, but Ed that's the WHOLE PROBLEM!!! Since Mrs Thatcher said they had to be run like a business to make money, they have had to try to find the cheapest possible ways to attract viewers while still trying to scrape out a few quality programs (eg David Attenborough) 

The terrifying thing is that, having been told to pay its way by making cheap, popular programs like ITV,  it has now gone to why should people pay for the similar sorts of programs that are free to watch on ITV, what's the point of the BBC? 

I'm not sure that the threat is the government using the BBC as a mouthpiece, rather that if it goes, there will be no one to investigate or hold the government to account, just as has happened regionally with the loss of local papers? I think that is the aim

 

Submitted by David Kirtley on

An imaginative and amusing leap ten years into the future! I enjoyed that, but whether it is actually going to turn out like that, I am not sure? Maybe if the Conservatives win all the elections until then it could just be!