Back In Kansas
By marandina
- 2542 reads
Audio version at: https://soundcloud.com/user-62051685/back-in-kansas-mp3
Back in Kansas
Lightening zags across a cobalt horizon,
splintered, spidered glass - dystopian skies,
ominous sounds of thunder rumbling as
whirling, wild winds forge sinister spouts.
Hurtling through the raging tempest,
a house flying, sheds bricks and tile,
if I look out of an upstairs window
I see witches, green faced on push-bikes.
Little dogs bark from handlebar baskets,
prisoners of erudite enchantresses,
storms rage like red spots on Jupiter,
fairytales, analogies, stories of the Old.
Present-day journeys into metaphor
from the tundra of silent Siberia to
the flatlands of besieged Donbas
where despots ply their evil trade.
Broken dwelling, spinning, falling,
plummeting from the Heavens above
to land on prostrate, prone,
autocrats - tyrants from the East.
At times I dream of Kansas,
a land of democrats and magicians
where freedom was hard-won in blood;
eyes closed, ruby slippers clicked,
I am home. I am safe. Enough.
Image free to use via WikiCommons at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dorothy%27s_Ruby_Slippers,_Wizar...
*Audio is orginal version
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Comments
yeh, these times do promote a
yeh, these times do promote a sense of unreality. Kansas is as good a place as anywhere There's no place like home.
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Yes.
I liked this. Informed by your boy's return from Oz as I read it.
I'd change "witches of green" to green witches, but it is, of course, your poem!
Very good.
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Tweaking
Captain Pedant here, think you might want to tweak again,
"I see witches, green faces on push-bikes."
I appreciate that the storm scene from the film is surrealist fantasy, but this reads like the green faces are on the bikes. and actually disassociates the witches from the faces. "green faced on push-bikes" would work. If you're not looking for a syllable count (you're not, are you?) or some rhythmic pattern,
"I see green-faced witches on push bikes".
Sometimes a matter-of-fact, straightforward syntax in a patently fantastical statement, underlines the strangeness even more.
Anyway, that's enough from me.
Keep going
E x
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This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day
I'm a sucker for anything that uses The Wizard of Oz as an extended metaphor. That's why it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day.
PLEASE, dear readers, share and or retweet if you like it to.
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Hi Paul,
such a great poem full of drama and I'll bet your son could identify with this poem.
There certainly is, No Place Like Home.
Well deserved on those gold cherries.
Jenny.
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"whirling, wild winds forge sinister spouts.
Hurtling through the raging tempest,
a house flying,"
You evoke the nightmare quality that so many wish they could wake from
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I like what you have done
I like what you have done with the imagery of 'Wizard Of Oz'. It's a great story/fantasy, but like all the best such tales it can be used to symbolise so much of the problems, hopes and dreams of our real world! I like the way you have updated this new version with the Autocrat in the East and the Desolation of the Donbas! Very fitting!
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Your poem captures the reader
Your poem captures the reader from the start and with the familiar surroundings of the Wizard of Oz; it sets a pace we can all fly in until it drops us into the dark realities of current life here on terra 'not Kansas anymore.' And the last line: ‘ruby slippers clicked’ is one we are all visualizing in hope of safe haven. Well done and apropos.
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Hi Paul
Hi Paul
I enjoyed reading this poem. Coming from tornado country, I remember the fear and excitement mixed when one was forecast. Once we were visiting my sister who lived in a trailer park, and worried about the ability of the storm to pick one up, we sought shelter in the basement of the park owner's house, but my new husband, crept out to get a picture. Luckily the storm missed us by a mile or two.
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