A Letter to Untethered Books Ltd.

[TRIGGER WARNING!!! Contains expressions and concepts from a novel written in 1921]

Kayla Shayla

Junior Commissioning Editor

Untethered Publishing

Satis House

Shoreditch

London

EC2 5PC

14th February 2022

W. De La Mare Jr.

Tortilla Flat, AZ

USA

e-mail:WDLMJr@compuserve.com

Dear Kayla Shayla,

I hope this finds you well?

Further to conversations with the Editor-At-Large of Dodo Adventitious House, Mr W. Mitie, as directed I have enclosed the revised manuscript for the re-worked novel by my great-grandfather, Walter De La Mare, ‘Memoirs of a Midget’, to your good self. As I am sure you are aware, this has been out of print for some time. I stress that I am not unsympathetic to the concerns raised over the original MS which I presented to your company. However, I draw your attention to some changes which I did feel quite unable to endorse.

In particular, I am not inclined to change the title, as I feel ‘Memoirs of a Small Person’, does not quite have the alliterative zing of the original. I am awaiting a reply from the actor Peter Dinklage for his thoughts on the matter. Naturally, as he is a very busy man, we must be patient in waiting for his response. As a last resort, I might be prepared to accept the Editor-At-Large’s suggestion of ‘The Divine Miss M’.

I feel I cannot accept your suggestion that we – what was your phrase – “Zhuzh-up” the relationship between the heroine and Fanny Bowater, not least because I’m not entirely sure what you mean by it. Equally unacceptable is the suggestion than Mr Anon should fall off the circus horse due to his sexual excitement at wearing Miss M’s costume, when he takes her place for the last performance.

Finally, I do not think we should boldly state that Fanny is not Mrs Bowater’s biological issue, nor that Mr Anon has “a spinal deformity”, that Fanny’s need for money is for an illegal medical procedure or that the Reverend Crimble has ‘mental health issues’. You yourself have deduced all of these things from your own reading of the manuscript. Should we not do readers the courtesy of presuming that they are quite capable of doing so too?

Best Regards.

Walter De La Mare Jr.