Ever Decreasing Circles

Ever Decreasing Circles

Ever heard the phase ‘going round in circles’ I, we, this planet does it every year.  The Seasons come and go and for me and my twilight existence ever faster.  Here we are in January and I’m already looking over a good number of horizons to late night sunsets that set the sky on fire. I look further now and wonder, but what I think I see doesn’t deter me from wishing for that distant day.

I long held that if harsh winter weather didn’t start until January it would be a short winter and not long to that fabled time of spring and new hope.  I don’t have seasonally adjusted light disorder, or at least I don’t think I do.  The long winter nights here in the Northern Hemisphere do get me down though.  I am always relieved when the Christmas Period reaches the 2^nd of January. Yet like a prisoner stepping blinkingly into the daylight upon release I pause and look at the barren desolation of the next month, which is still gripped by an endless darkness.

Sometimes I get the January blues and dip into a trough of negativity and mild depression.  Sometimes I lift my eyes and covet that spring horizon of warmth and expectation and sometimes I linger in that no-mans land, a place of limbo where no emotions can exist or coexist.  I am an emotional person and no stranger to mood swings.  It’s just that they seem so stark and so extreme in January.  I notice so much more of the down side. Paradoxically I am so wrapped up in summer fun that I don’t notice the time rushing by.

The dawn came late this morning as it does in the month where we look back and the last year and forward to the new-born year as it takes its first uncertain steps. All my resolutions broken before February even starts, I oscillate between a mellow pastel shade of Blue to a Midnight Blue of darkest gloom; like the circles of this planet’s orbit on its endless seasonal journey.