Musings

I suppose it was my fault for being too insistent in asking for assistance, but I did not expect so many visitors.

Here they were facing me like a jury, not of twelve just men but of just nine women equally determined to hear how I was pleading.

They introduced themselves and, after saying 'Hello. how do you do; pleased to meet you.'  nine times I dried up.

'What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?', asked the one whose name was Calliope.

'No, it's just that I am overwhelmed. I did not anticipate that you would all come together.'

'Well, young man, you never were too specific with your requests', said Urania who resembled my old maths teacher rebuking me for failing to solve a quadratic equation.

I was flattered by being called a young man considering that these beautiful creatures of tender age could have been my daughters.

'You see', she continued, 'when you seek inspiration from a Muse, which one do you want?'

I was scratching my head searching for a diplomatic reply as I didn't wish to offend any of them when Clio piped up.

'It can't have been me. The historical fiction you write is just that: fictional. The fact that you describe them as alternative history doesn't cut the mustard.'

That was bad enough but Thalia, the Muse of Comedy, twisted the knife.

'Let's be honest, your humorous writings are not always rib-tickling.'

'Count me out as well', added Terpsichore, 'you have confessed that where dance is concerned you have two left feet.'

With a third of goddesses rejecting my plea, the situation didn't sound encouraging.

I knew, knowing my shortcomings and agnosticism, that I would have to disregard Polymnia. Was there anyone willing to inspire me?

As if reading my mind, Erato entered the discussion.

'I have noticed that occasionally you write erotic prose and by way of using double entendres, you avoid being smutty. I could inspire you to make your narrative more refined.'

That was a positive sign and it seemed to inject some vigour into the proceedings. The mood of the rest of the group changed.

'It's obvious this poor fellow needs help. We don't wish to be uncooperative but we have to be organized to be able to carry out our duties properly', said Urania.

'I suggest', she continued, 'that when he gets writer's block on a particular topic he calls one of us on an Olympian iPhone by pressing the appropriate key.

1=eloquence and heroic poetry-Calliope
2=history-Clio
3=lyric or erotic poetry-Erato
4=music-Euterpe
5=tragedy-Melpomene
6=sacred poetry-Polymnia
7=dance-Terpsichore
8=comedy-Thalia
9=astronomy/astrology-Urania
0=god of the arts-Apollo

The perfect solution, I thought. I am waiting for my next writer's block so that I can implement it.

 
© Luigi Pagano 2023