There's Still Enough Time

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Jane Hyphen

Sat, 10 Jun 2023
  • 1606 reads
15 comments
 

 

He looks so nice;

an unfolded smile, harmless eyes.

No thoughts at the front,

only the manners, his mother

wrapped up and gave him,

when, as a boy, he tried rudeness.

And hid in his room, melting 

in the tarry liquids of shame.

 

And his wife with her bell ringer’s face,

crammed into the tiniest bag,

held it down as it wriggled, zipped shut.

Confused, is she happily married?

So long ago, she worried herself sick that

he would die in some freak accident 

or leave her for the greengrocer's daughter.

 

Now it’s set, hardened, peeling in places.

They look more than normal

in their new clothes, ten years old.

His thoughts at the back, so active,

hovering around violence and lost flesh.

If only there was some way to make her vanish.

There’s still enough time, just.

 

 

Certificate 12
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Oh this is a very good IP response - razor sharp! Well done Jane

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks you for your comment Insert, and for the cherries.

 

Submitted by celticman on

it slides into unease. 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you celtic. I see this a lot, my customers, old couples, they sort of hate each other, not all of them and not all the time but many do, I've seen it and I know it's true.

 

Submitted by marandina on

"And his wife with her bell ringer’s face,

crammed into the tiniest bag,"

Brutal yet poignant. Maybe some people learn to love to hate their partners. Very nicely done. Paul

 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

I think maybe you're right, Paul about love to hate. Thank you for reading and commenting.

 

Submitted by sean mcnulty on

Terrific poem. Dark, complicated, mysterious. This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day. Please share and retweet! 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Congratulations Jane, and a wonderful pic too. He looks like he might be halfway through eating her!

 

Submitted by agnosticnun on

Both nasty and poignant. Well done.

Kristi

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you for reading agnosticum.. 

 

Submitted by catherine poarch on

What wonderful, quirky descriptions. Congratulations on the cherries, really well deserved. 

I checked out what the IP was and it looks fun! smiley

 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Catherine, thank you for reading. I really appreciate your comment.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This sharp and unsettling piece of observation is our Poem of the Week. Congratulations!

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Congratulations Jane - this was a brilliantly sharp poem

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

thank you thank yousmiley