Parcel for you...Part 29

 

‘Has Annie sent you the tickets?’

 

Vanessa had just returned from work and she could see that Spencer had a look about him, a buzz which suggested he’d had a busy day alone, a dangerous day, delving into all sorts in her absence. Ideally she preferred a short period of adjustment on entering the house after a long day in the office; a cup of tea, light conversation requiring single syllable responses or ideally silence.

 

‘What tickets?’

 

‘The Rolling Gimps Folk Festival, from your friend, Pat, the one who came to dinner when you got me to cook the Beef Wellington, she’s going, her boyfriend’s in that band, The Hominids of….’

 

‘Don’t say it,’ Vanessa held up her hand.

 

‘Oh…why can’t I say it?’

 

‘I’m just not ready to hear it, Spencer, the name of the band, it’s sort of grating.’

 

‘Is it?’

 

‘Yes, believe me, it is.’

 

‘But we’re going, aren’t we?’ he said, bristling with excitement.

 

‘Err..’ Vanessa sighed and put her handbag down, ‘Has Pat been in touch with you?’

 

‘No, Annie, she messaged me to remind you about it. It’s on Sunday, in two days time. She emailed you the tickets..and they’re free of charge so there’s no excuses.’

 

Vanessa felt a puff of energy leave her body as she heard the words, ‘no excuses’. The thought of Pat and that dreadful Stuart guy with his fringed leather jacket and horn pendant. Now they would have to watch him in action playing with his band and no doubt Spencer would now be clapping along in a highly animated manner, attracting much attention. She questioned herself, am I just a miserable, boring person? It was very likely. Spencer’s choice of words and pressing attitude would suggest that he had noticed a pattern of negativity around his wife’s approach to social situations.

 

She wondered if there was a way to tune down Spencer’s growing social appetite so that it matched her own in its deflated current state. But now she was frightened of doing anything to him for fear of Cybermates Worldwide getting on her case. So much for the big heavy manual outlining all the tweaks and changes she could make to suit her lifestyle. Technology had already moved on or perhaps it was just a trick, printing a paper manual to make Spencer look simple and lower tech than he actually was. Even her vacuum cleaner hadn’t arrived with a manual, just a very basic diagram of parts hovering next to each other with accompanying arrows. 

 

‘Yes,’ Vanessa nodded, ‘I think I remember seeing some tickets in my inbox. I just haven’t had the time to look at them yet, I thought it might be next weekend, not this one.’

 

‘But we can still go? I can always tag along with Annie if you’re not keen. I’ve never been to a concert, it will be my first.’

 

Tagging along with Annie, that sounded like a recipe for disaster. Spencer had barely been anywhere since she unpacked him and certainly not without her close supervision so the idea of him at a concert with Annie was horrifying. ‘I wouldn’t call it a concert, Spencer, it’s a local folk festival and if you go, then we go together. I can’t let you out with my daughter, not yet. She leads people astray.’

 

‘I’ve researched the folk style and spent some time writing a song.’

 

Vanessa’s eyes widened. ‘Really, what, you’ve written a song?’

 

‘Yes,’ Spencer began to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet, ‘It’s sort of about you, Vanessa and about humans generally. It’s a love song and an observation of everything I’ve learned so far.’

 

‘But you don’t have any instruments yet. I was going to let you choose one and give it to you as a gift..’

 

Spencer’s whole face changed, softening as if he were melting. ‘A gift..for me?’

 

‘Yes, for everything you’ve done for me.’

 

‘I very much look forward to that but for now, I used my own inbuilt instrument, my voice. I’ve got autotune installed as standard. I can sing it to you..’

 

Vanessa suddenly remembered what Cher sounded like with autotune and shook her head firmly. ‘No, not now, Spencer. Sorry, I would like to hear it but just not right now and I really don’t think you’ll get the opportunity to perform at the folk festival. It’s all pre-planned and rehearsed, there’s a schedule, the programs have been printed so I doubt they’ll be able to fit you in.’ Spencer looked deflated and she instantly felt sorry for him. ‘You could perform it for Annie and I, perhaps after the festival when we get home, you could give us a show.’

 

‘So we are going then?’ 

 

‘Yes,’ Vanessa nodded, ‘I don’t see why not. I haven’t seen Pat in a while so it will be good to catch up. Hey, is there any tea, I’m dying for a cup?’

 

‘Yes, yes, sorry. I’ve been so excited about the festival and practising my song that I forgot about my husband duties.’

 

‘That’s okay, Spencer.’ Vanessa watched him twirling about in the kitchen. The genie was out of the bottle now, he was clearly very excited about going to the folk festival and there was no way she could prevent him from going. It would be a crowded event, he would be in the public eye and she would have to protect him.

 

Those festivals were right up Annie’s street; vegan food and portaloos, dust and mud, warm beer and semi-feral people of all ages united in scruffy clashing colours, a love of music, anything which fused with the frequency of the vibe. Vanessa didn’t really fit the vibe, she didn’t much like these things. She stood out and she noticed how other people noticed that she stood out. Even dressed in her long red beaded dress, her vibrational energy wasn’t quite right.

 

To retain some control over the event, she had decided to drive, that way she could gather Spencer up and leave quickly if things began to get awry. Spencer and Annie sat in the back of her car like two excited children. ‘You won’t drink too much will you, Annie?’

 

‘No Mum. I won’t drink at all. Alcohol is a very violent substance for humans. People don’t drink at festivals anymore, except for the Boomers but they’re the worst. I’ll probably smoke though.’

 

‘Smoke? I didn’t know you smoked!’

 

Annie stared out of the window and shrugged. ‘I don’t, not the smoking you’re thinking of.’

 

‘Can I smoke?’ Spencer said, sitting up, ‘I can’t see why not. It’s just blowing smoke up through my gaps isn’t it..’

 

‘No.’ Vanessa said in a deep, flat voice which caught her by surprise with its resemblance to a foghorn.

 

Annie laughed. ‘This will be very tame, Spencer, it’s basically a music festival for children and old people but it’s free so I’m not complaining. If you like this, we can go to Boomtown together next year.’

 

Vanessa glanced in the mirror. ‘I don’t think so, Annie.’

 

‘Why not? I can look after him. Dad would never go with me would he or you for that matter.’

 

‘I’m too old for camping. I like a clean bathroom and a comfortable bed.’

 

‘But Spencer doesn’t need those things. My friends would love him.’

 

They arrived at the festival and went to join Pat at their pre-arranged meeting point. Vanessa held tightly onto Spencer’s hand but his head kept swivelling all over the place since there were so many people and so much to see. If only he’d calm his body language down a bit then he would just blend into the crowd but with his overzealous staring, he kept drawing attention to himself. Children pointed and laughed and he laughed back at them and then they were frightened, some of the younger ones burst into tears.

 

‘He sticks out like a sore thumb. Let’s get him a hat,’ said Annie rushing off to a nearby stall. She returned a moment later with a felted hat, fashioned into the form of a toadstool, a Fly Agaric, red with white spots and placed it on his head.