Message : Post Scriptum

To: Zoroaster

From: Balti_Malky_Kaspy@twatter.com(link sends e-mail) and @BMK@FormerObservatoryMission(link sends e-mail)*

sent via ╜╝┼╡╢╤╕╦╧╘ .

Subject: Former Observatory Mission to Planet #3 Local Interstellar Cloud, Local Bubble, Orion-Cygnus Arm, Milky Way. MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY

Hail, Zoroaster the Mighty and Wise Leader of the Free Universe. [Hereinafter MAWLOTFU]

We had not thought to trouble your munificence again after informing you of our decision to remain here. Things changed in Westmonster and we had hopes of change in The Great White House of the A Merry Cans. Rather unwisely perhaps, on the advice of Malky - formerly Malkar, we returned there not long after the upheavals in the rather quaintly named United Kingdom. Little did we think the disunity displayed there would be increased a 100-fold across the great ocean.

Incredibly, The Fruujon has escaped with his orange skin intact and has decided to become The President of The United States of the World, having made the first constitutional amendment since long before we arrived on the third satellite of the minor star in a spiral arm called by the inhabitants, the Orion Spur: an insignificant outward extension from the Sagittarius arm (sic).

And now we are trapped in the madness ourselves. Malki is quite content, however, and has joined a group of like-minded individuals who like to gather and wrap a Christmas-tide cooking aid around their heads and drink something called moonshine. It does seem that for such an inward looking species these Earthlings are both obsessed with and terrified by every exo-planetary phenomenon. Why else are those troubled by mental illness termed luna ticks?  We do not know if Malki has revealed to his new friends in the South, that he is an extra-terrestrial, but he has assured us his digital deficiencies raise no eyebrow there.

Yes, I am aware that Baltachior, Malkar and your servant, Kaspazar were instructed to remain together for the duration of our sojourn on this planet. However, I thought it best to keep Baltachior away from Malkar permanently after he bit off part of Malkar's anatomy. We were unable to take him to hospital as it would have involved explanations as to what part of his anatomy it was, not to say what its function might have been.

Once again it is with regret that I must admit I may have been over-hasty in asking you to recall the Intergalactic Battle Group. A man with the unlikely name of Elongated Tusk is spending the wealth of a middle-sized nation (I do not understand this concept, are they not all inhabitants of the same rock?) on space travel. The fool is still burning carbon-based fuels to escape the bounds of gravity. I, Kaspazar, hereby resolve to keep the secrets of quantum mechanics, nuclear fusion and the meaning of life out of this fellow's hands by whatever means possible. He is a friend of the Fruujon, there can be no more telling indicator of his character than this. I worry too, that Malkar will share the secrets with his friends, luckily they may blow themselves and this planet up with them.

Do excuse your humble servants their despondency ...
but, O MAWLOTFU, send the IBG before it is too late.

Baltachior & Kaspazar [The e-mail address is too difficult to change, as the ╜╝┼╡╢╤╕╦╧╘ refuse to allow more than one to this planet. We can understand why]
 

[Go here for the beginning]