Parcel for you - Part 44

 

Recently Vanessa had grown a little bit tired of her old friend Pat, mostly due to her relationship with the very annoying Stu. She’d fallen in with him a little too quickly and easily, dazzled by his apparent wealth, unusual dress-sense and kudos as a founding band-member of The Hominids of Quasar.

 

Now all that was starting to fall apart a bit and through the cracks, Vanessa could see a little bit of the old Pat, still there beneath the frail scaffold she so quickly constructed in her desire to support Stu and be everything he wanted her to be.

 

There was a lot of catching up to do. Vanessa had a special place in her mind where she stored up all her own gossip to release whenever she met up with Pat but they hadn’t been alone together for so long. The special place was bursting and she hadn’t really been aware of it up until now, with the forthcoming visit, she began to rehearse in her head everything that she needed to get off her chest. 

 

It was going to be difficult with Pat in a similar boat and being the more dominating one of the pair. Vanessa was going to have to listen endlessly to all of Pat’s woes which were likely to be quite entertaining and then she would have her own turn. Carol was back on the scene and already, Vanessa was carrying the resulting emotions like a simmering pustule of interned venom; objectionable sibling syndrome, there’s no cure but a good friend will listen to you scream while you lance the wound.

 

The following day, Vanessa returned from work to a little surprise from her husband; Spencer had spent hours sticking back together her favourite mug with superglue and the result was so perfect that the mug appeared fully re-incarnated on the worktop. She was quite touched by his efforts. ‘Thank you, you’ve worked miracles there,’ she said, placing her hand on his shoulder.

 

‘It just took time, that's all. I am not impatient, I can work as slowly as I need to without getting bored or frustrated or making mistakes.’

 

‘You’re better than me then. Sitting and doing that would have driven me mad.’

 

Spencer looked at her very inquisitively. ‘How though, I mean what does that feel like, being driven mad by a task?’

 

‘I don’t know, fiddly repetitive things that require prolonged concentration are just a faff. I couldn’t be bothered with that. I was planning to just throw the pieces away.’

 

‘A faff?’

 

‘Yes! An annoying faff. Your brain gets tired, your eyes can’t focus and then there’s a destructive energy force that travels from your brain down your fingers and you just want to give up before you’ve even started.’

 

Spencer nodded very slowly. ‘I’m starting to realise that we are the perfect match, Vanessa, you and me and perhaps all the other couples out there like us, a human and a cyborg. They have so much to teach each other and each fulfils the shortcomings of the other. It works so well. I don’t understand why humans would pair up with each other. To me that concept could never work.’

 

Vanessa laughed. ‘I’m not sure it’s a concept, Spencer, it’s all we had up to now and it’s what keeps the human race going, starting with Adam and Eve.’

 

He gave her another inquisitive stare. ‘I’m not convinced.’

 

‘Now come on,’ she laughed and poked him gently, ‘we need to start thinking about dinner. I’ve got our friend, Pat coming over later and she’s going to be staying quite late, we’ve got some catching up to do.’

 

‘Fantastic!’ Spencer began pulling saucepans out of the cupboard. ‘She already knows that I’m a very good cook so her expectations will be high. I wish you’d given me more time, Vanessa, we haven't even been shopping. Stu brought the wine last time, didn’t he. Hey I need to read up on plane crashes again so I can join in the conversation. I think there’s been a couple of new ones since last time.’

 

‘Oh Stu’s not coming this evening. We can just eat something very simple, some pasta is fine, just dollop some pesto on it. Pat won’t mind, she’s looking forward to seeing you.’

 

‘Disappointment suppressed. Threat detected.’

 

It was that intrusive third party voice again. Vanessa was almost annoyed by it. ‘What?’

 

Spencer looked at her blankly. ‘I didn’t say anything,’

 

‘But I heard a voice…from you! You must have heard it too?’

 

‘No, I didn’t hear a thing.’

 

Vanessa sighed heavily. ‘I’m just going to put on some different clothes.’

 

‘Are you dressing up?’

 

‘No..dressing down, tracksuit bottoms.’

 

‘Last time we had dinner with Pat, you dressed up.’

 

‘It’s different this time, Spencer.’

 

‘Hey,’ he called out from the bottom of the stairs with a folded tea towel over his wrist, ‘you’re not going to do anything to me are you?’

 

Vanessa ignored him. How does he know? she thought. It was bizarre but then again perhaps he had recalled some trauma of the very first time he was taken out of the box and poked and prodded by Pat. Sometimes she went too far and Vanessa realised it was imperative that she keep her friend under control especially if she was feeling a bit aggravated from her drama with Stu, whatever it was.

 

Pat arrived, clutching a white plastic bag containing a bottle of gin and another little bag filled with something soft. The two women greeted each other with a hug while Spencer hung back, eyeing Pat up with caution.

 

‘What’s in the bag?’ he said.

 

‘Oh just some drinks and a few overnight things, in case I drink too much. Hey come here, it’s lovely to see you.’ She grabbed hold of Spencer and pulled him towards her.

 

‘It’s a shame Stu couldn’t make it. I enjoy hearing about the band.’

 

‘Mmm, well Vanessa and I have a lot of catching up to do.’

 

‘I hate you.’

 

‘Pardon?’

 

Spencer looked blank. ‘I didn’t say anything.’

 

‘Oh,’ Pat shook her head, ‘I haven’t been sleeping well. There’s been all sorts of things going on at home,’ she took off her coat and Vanessa hung it up, ‘I just needed to get away for a night.’

 

Vanessa didn’t recall inviting her to stay over but she didn’t protest, realising that it could play to her advantage. The intrusive voice thing clearly showing no signs of abating. ‘Come through. Spencer has made us some lovely pasta.’

 

‘Stu isn’t quite the man he made himself out to be. Firstly I lent him some money because he said he had a cash flow problem, something to do with his air conditioning business, he said it was just down to some late payments, then he said he was being billed for someone else’s business rates. Anyway the next thing I know, we’ve got two burly men hammering on the door, turns out, they were bailiffs but all they took was some Concorde memorabilia. I think Stu had been expecting them because he’d been going back and forth, taking stuff to Lady M’s..’

 

‘That’s his mother,’ said Spencer, looking at Vanessa.

 

Pat took a deep breath, ‘And it turns out, the air con business might have to fold and he’s been working for Pete The Pest on the side to pay the mortgage.’

 

‘Pete The Pest?’ said Vanessa.

 

‘Yes the guy who plays the harmonica in the band, he’s got a pest control business. And that’s not all, it turns out there’s an ex he owes money to and she’s seen a solicitor and…’