Passwords.

Our tv remote broke!

With Paul with me, I rang my broadband provider, my mobile was on speaker, so Paul could hear too.

First the machine asked me many questions. The first question I was unable to answer, “What is your password.” Now I can’t say to the machine, “I have forgotten my password,” Because it is a machine, so the machine says, “Let’s try another way,” But whichever way it tries I have still forgotten my password and need to speak to a human. It was Paul’s idea to ring, I really think in the back of his mind, it would take a minute or two, little did he know.

The machine tried another way, but it got no joy. Then the machine said, “I have sent you a link to your mobile phone, click on the link.” I didn’t want to, so I rang again trying to press a different number from the long lists of numbers from one to six, but then I got no joy, neither did Paul, who I heard say, “F*cking Hell!” I looked at Paul, and put my forefinger to my lips to remind him not to speak, as the machine might think it’s a password!

Then I gave in, and decided to go on the link. It seemed straight forward, I clicked on the first thing, I had to pick the second thing, then the third but when I had clicked twice more, it was clear to me, I clicked one of the things above wrong, which then let me down the wrong path!

Paul said, “Let me try,” He took my phone off me, and he started carefully clicking each symbol, until he got to the bottom. He got further than I did. Good on him, team work.         

Then at the bottom Paul read, “Click here for help.” Paul clicked on it, we had hoped to get a human, instead we got music. But that was more promising that what we had got before.

After five minutes a human came to the phone he said, “Can I have your password,” I said, “I have forgotten it.” He said, “Can you think what it might be?” I replied, “No.” I tried to cut corners, cut out the middle man, cut out bureaucracy by saving myself an hour or two on the phone, so I quickly said, “All I want is a replacement tv remote.” But even saying it, and getting it, was worlds apart, to getting it, just like that.

He said, “Do you know what you last bill was?” I said, “No, all our bills are paid direct debit.” He said, “Do you know when your next bill is due?” I said, “No.” He said, “What is your email address?” I gave him mine, he said, “That is not the correct one.” So, Paul gave him his, he said, “That is the correct one.” He then said, “I will send a letter to that email address, and when it arrives, you tell me what the bill is and when it is next due.”

A few minutes later, on Paul’s phone the letter arrived in his email, as Paul clicked on it nothing happened and he said, “Nothing is happening.” The man was silent. Then Paul said, “I need to download something first, before I can read the letter.” The man said, “That is correct.” Eventually it downloaded and Paul told him the bill amount, (now I would have thought that would have been enough, as it showed him that we are who we say we are, but he wanted the other information too,) the man said, “And can I have the date of the next bill?” Paul told him, then the operator said, “Thank you, you have past security.”

Then he said, “How can I help?” I said, “Our remote for the telly won’t work, please can we have another one?” He said, “Yes, which tv box do you have?” I told him which one it was.

He then said, “I will post you one, it will need to be signed for on arrival and will arrive in 23 days,” I said, “Twenty-three days?” His accent was strong, he laughed and said, “No, we wouldn’t be that cruel, 2-3 days,” Then I laughed.

He said, “While you are waiting for your remote to arrive, I will get you to have a tv remote onto your phone,” I said, “You can put a tv remote on my phone?” He replied, “Yes.”

What phone do you have?” I answered, “An iPhone.” He said, “Go into your store,” I could see trouble ahead, for I knew what was coming next, I went into the store section. He said, Go, to the tv remote section, you will need your password,” I said, “I don’t know my password,” It looked like I was defeated at the last post, he said, “I will give you a password,” He gave me a password, and I was able to download for the tv remote.

This was all new to Paul and I, would this really work?

I said, “It has downloaded now,” Then suddenly just like magic, I could see the full tv listing like it is on our telly! It was the menu section.

Then he said, “Press on the left,” I did and all I got was what looked like, a thousand words of terms and conditions!!! I told him what came up, he said, “Don’t click on that, no one clicks on that.” Then for the next five minutes I was clicking and clicking, I wasn’t getting anywhere, it seemed like stale mate. He said, reassuringly, “Don’t worry I am not going anywhere, until this is completed.” I said, “I wish you or our daughter was here, it would all be sorted in a few clicks.” It was SO frustrating.

Then suddenly there it was as large as life, filling my whole screen, a remote control on my mobile! It was exactly like the one we use, only bigger. I laughed, and I said, “You are a genus,” He said, “Thank you, just doing my job.” I said, “Can I have your name, so that I can give you a fantastic feedback?” He said, “Yes, it is, A-j-m-a-l,” I repeated, the letters, he said, “Yes that is correct.” I told him, “I was very happy and thrilled that this technology has worked.” Then we said, our goodbyes.

Thrilled with my new tech, I was able to watch, A Place in The Sun.