Four Minute Warning

Four Minute Warning

Alison walked into the lounge, her face deadly serious. "Its happened
girls. The four
minute warning. Four minutes from now it'll all be over: KABOOM!"

The other three who had all been laughing and giggling, instantly came
to attention, and
turned to look at Allie, their faces aping the expression on
hers.

The party had been in full swing for some time, The four friends, or
"The Elton Four" as
they called themselves, had eaten a lovely if somewhat rich meal of
Steak Diane, With a
crisp salad, in a homemade orange dressing,with Hassenbach potatoes,
smothered in the
rich brandy and cream sauce of the Steak Diane. They had then gorged on
a dessert of
homemade pear and mandarin crumble, with double cream, and just a hint
of Grande
Marnier smoothed into it. They finished the meal with Calypso coffees;
yet more cream
And then Julie who's turn it was to host the party came up with the
brilliant Idea of
making Pina Coladas.

The wine was flowing freely and the girls all agreed that if they had
to endure the four
minute warning and it's dire implications, then at least they'd had a
fantastic meal and
were amidst good company. It was decided that this was a hell of a way
to go.

Anne looked worriedly at her watch, "Well girls ..we have three
minutes and 29 seconds
left. What are we going to do with it?"

"Well" said Liz. "If we had men, we could have sex, and still have
time for a cigarette
afterwards, now that's what I call value for time!"

They all laughed. Anne stood to attention with her left hand, bend
over her heart and
adopting a somber voice lurched into a verse of "This is the song that
doesn't end" The
others rose, took up the position of alliegance and joined in. Anne
still gazing at her
watch. "Yes it goes on and on my friend ... Some people started singing
it ...Not knowing
what it was ...And they'll continue singing it ...Forever just because
..This is the Song that
doesn't end ...Yes it goes on and on my friend"

Soon Anne broke into the "Elton Fours" theme tune ...Count down girls
this is it:
10 ......." the chant was taken up "9 .....8 .....7 ......6 ...." By
now Allie was holding her
stomach and looking quite ill " 5 .....4 .....3 .....2
.......1..........

And then it happened. The girls stood in silence as Allie produced the
longest, loudest
and most offensive fart any of them had ever witnessed. It went on and
on ....like the song
that doesn't end, thankfully this did: Eventually! The other three
shouted in unison
"Twist" and then they all fell about laughing. "Well lasses who's turn
is it to get the
Drinks" Asked Alison I feel quite dehydrated after that. She looked
very Pleased with
herself.