C: 1/2/03 Late

Work Diary, 1/2/03

Right now, right this very minute, I'm looking at a clock that doesn't
work. That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?

In reality I'm dog-sitting, staying at a friend's house while she is up
in the mountains gambling. Or she might be asleep. I'm thinking she's
asleep, because it's late, and because I should be asleep,
myself.

But I'm not. Instead, I'm riding the boozy highway, picking verbs and
adjectives out of the air and typing them down. Like my mother, I type
at the same speed that people speak. This is a good thing, I tell
myself, despite the cost. At thirteen, I typed words in my head until I
bruised my forehead on the bus window, each mark punctuating the rhythm
of a bumpy road. Typing class drove me insane, I think, though of
course that's ridiculous.

Right now, I'm thinking of how I will live. When you are a member of
the Nouveau Middle Class, it's difficult to think of your place in
things. Am I the type to live in a studio? How about a 1 BR in a 2
BRAPT (that is, one bedroom in a two-bedroom apartment)? Can I live
with a stranger? Probably not. It will have to be the studio,
then.

If I watched more television, would I have answers? Would I know what
to say? Could I say what I meant? Could I say it again, once more, with
feeling?

Saying anything with feeling, it seems, is my downfall. Here is my
story = here is my story. I've lost the knack for making a difference,
at least with those who matter. I raise my voice, but why? Once you've
lost it, you've lost it.

I've been told to get out. I've been told to get out. I've been told to
get out. I've?been?told?to?get?out.

I don't have to listen. I do, anyway. I've been told to get out.

It would be better, wouldn't it, if I'd been asked to get out? Would
you leave, please? As opposed to the simple: Get out.

I've been asked to get out. I've been asked to get out. I've been asked
to get out.

Would you leave, please? Would you leave, please? Would you leave,
please?

Which has the better ring, do you think?

So, here is what I have to offer:

Male; brown/green; 34; 5'11"; 195. Likes movies, books, eating out.
Clean, HIV-negative, light smoker. Comes with knick-knacks and a
free-form stand. Willing to best his 13 year record.

Serious replies only.