Emily, The Woman Who Asked an Elephant to Tea

It started as a perfectly ordinary Thursday. Emily finished work at
12.30 then went shopping. She was feeling better than she had for ages.
She was quite optimistic. Perhaps she would make a special meal for
Henry. Yes, that's what she'd do.

She walked along, busy thinking about his meal and didn't really notice
much until she was in front of the supermarket. It was a big retail
outlet, all glass and stainless steel with a large car park. She was
making her way towards the main entrance when she saw them. At first
she thought they were cardboard models, then she thought they were
balloons, then she realised they were real.

Two elephants were standing on either side of the entrance, trunks
raised, each with one foot poised in the air. A small man in overalls
was standing silently beside them with a bucket in one hand and a brush
in the other. Shoppers were walking past pushing trolleys, barely
glancing at the magnificent animals. Emily was amazed. She had always
been attracted to elephants since she'd been taken to the zoo as a very
young child. She remembered the sheer size of them and the majestic way
they lumbered around. She'd always liked the thick folds of leathery
grey skin and the big floppy ears.

Emily collected her trolley and went towards the entrance. She was just
wondering. . . ' What if they need to relieve themselves', when they
did. The cascade of pee and the deluge of piss went down a handy drain.
The little man sprang into action with the bucket removing great
steaming heaps, and the elephants unconcernedly didn't move from their
positions.

Emily couldn't believe that no one was looking, even at that
performance. Surely the numerous children, following their mothers into
the store, would have noticed and pointed or shouted. She knew that
kids liked that kind of thing. But, no, there was no reaction. They
glanced fleetingly at the elephants and then walked on into the store.
Emily followed them remarking to herself on the fragrant farmyard smell
as she passed the elephants. She looked up at the proud wise heads and
felt so sorry that everyone else was ignoring them. How could they just
walk past, as if no one was there? She just had to apologise on behalf
of the whole unthinking human race

'Look, they don't mean anything by it. They're just so busy. People
just have to run and run to catch up with themselves these days. I'm so
sorry no one's speaking to you.'

She was startled when the elephant to her right answered her.

'Of, don't bother yourself, my dear. We're used to it. People see such
things on TV that nothing makes them notice what's really in front of
them. We do appreciate you talking to us.'

Emily was struck dumb. She stood stock-still and wondered if she was
hallucinating. Talking elephants? At the supermarket? Maybe Henry was
right. Perhaps she should go back on the tablets. She looked again at
the elephant that had spoken to her. It had such a kind gentle look on
its face, that she felt warm and reassured.

'Would you like to come to my house for afternoon tea?'

She had said it before she really thought it through. The doors were
too small . . .. . She went on,

'Well, perhaps we could have tea in the garden. Both of you and your
keeper of course.'

'Oh, never mind Nigel. He clocks off at 3.30. But yes, we would be
delighted to come for tea, my dear. Perhaps you can do your shopping
and we can go to your garden together? It sounds delightful. Is it
far?'

'No, only about ten minutes away . . .' she faltered. How fast do
elephants walk? She pondered this as she did her shopping. She got
extra tea bags and milk and sugar. She bought a lot of currant buns and
some bananas and that seemed to be all she could think of. She quickly
grabbed all she had come in for as well, and in half an hour was at the
door with six carrier bags.

'Oh good, that's three bags each. Loop them over our tusks,
dear.'

Each elephant put a soft trunk in her hand and they walked
companionably down the road and through the park to her home. The
elephants enjoyed the park and put the carrier bags down beside her so
that they could join the ducks in the pond to cool down. The ducks were
startled and made quite a din but soon settled down. The elephants had
to see if they could squirt water better than the fountains, ate a few
branches of leaves, trampled over a few flower beds. . . This was
unavoidable because they got excited, like children. Emily smiled
indulgently, looking round guiltilyto see if the park keeper was
about.
At last they were ready to leave and the procession wound its way to
Emily's garden.

It was a lovely afternoon. The sun shone. Tea was served in buckets,
and was much appreciated. The buns were a great success, as were the
bananas. All too soon, after full and frank discussion on the nature of
things and the way the world was going, Emily waved them goodbye and
started to clear up and make Henry's tea.

When she told him about the elephants, he looked at her as if she was
mad. Perhaps she was, but the next year, Emily won all the categories
in the flower show with her flowers and vegetables and her garden was
judged the best in the town. When she was collecting the silver cup for
this, the reporter from the local newspaper asked her to what she
attributed her success.

'Elephant dung,' she said.

The reporter, thinking of his prize roses, was amazed and very
interested.

'I haven't seen that at the garden centre. Did you send away for
it?'

'No, I had it delivered to my garden.'

In the distance, it seemed as if she heard an elephant trumpeting. In
the third row of the audience, a man was blowing his nose using a huge
checked handkey, but it was much further away than that, and a such a
triumphant sound. Emily felt proud and very very happy.