Moving On

Going on...

changing because you must, if

you were held so long

within, so scared

or ashamed, unable to let go

of someone or something which happened,

stuck.

It was so hard to move on especially when

the pain

wouldn't let me go til

I remembered,

going there again and again to know

fully the truth and now,

I asked, "what am I to do?"

I feel like an old man approaching death,

waiting for it to seize me in the midst

of sleep.

It was just so hard to redefine myself

in terms which could bring about pleasure,

love or understanding in the face of my name.

I had to just drop it,

let it roll away, if I kept on holding onto it,

it would suck all my life away,

make me into a shell,

a zombie, a wounded thing

which would seek the secret of life

from others, and then

I could walk even proudly, asking

for all those things which are

so deeply valuable to the dear.

I feel that I am now myself, I would say

without even a blink and there,

as I was or will be, you would

forgive me just because you

knew beforehand.