"'That's an Odd Courgette" - Postings 31-40 (20 May 06 - 2 June 06)

20 May 2006:
31. Sore

He was on the loo for three centuries. He lost track of time; you know how it is. He was thinking about Sudoku. Not a particular puzzle, just Sudoku in general.
"What is the ultimate existential goal in fitting all those numbers into a 9x9 grid? he said.
He flushed.

21 May 2006:
32. Box

The phone rang.
'Hello?'
'Hang up and you're dead.'
'Who is this?'
'It's your mother; when are you going to come home and see me?'
'I saw you last Tuesday.'
'Don't lie to me, Danny!'
The gun was cocked.
'But my name's Dennis.'
'Oh sorry, wrong number.'
The line died.

22 May 2006:
33. MI:7

The mission went smoothly. He retrieved the data, rescued the hostage and was extracted in the nick of time, just before the building exploded.
'Good work, sir,' said the helicopter pilot.
'Thanks... Now fly this baby home!'
On the way back to base, he choked on a peanut and died.

25 May 2006:
34. Notice

... is there such a thing as 'found' poetry? ...
TRACKSIDE SAFETY
Look and listen for
approaching trains
Get off the track as soon
as possible
Do not step on any rails
Check for tripping hazards,
bridges and steep drops
Do not touch any overhead
cables
Do not touch any lineside
equipment

26 May 2006:
35. Traffic 1736-1741 25 May 2006

Green tops. Bare bright arms.
Open tops. The slow lane
Envies the fast lane. What
Are they thinking, while smoking?
- Hand dangling outside door; can't
Pollute the inner sanctum! And
Stopped. Crawling. A chance to
Reach the space between seats;
To check change, fags... nothing.
Speed divulges freedom, one way.

27 May 2006:
36. Teeter

When standing on a cliff-edge, with an army of slavering, sharp-fanged beasts racing towards you, what is the best course of action? To leap headlong into the abyss and hope for a large winged creature to swoop by and carry you off to safety and a new life?

28 May 2006:
37. Don't Mock the Trifle!

We may be teetering on the edge of a gastronomic uprising.
We may be a hair's breadth away from a culinary revolution.
There may be edible substances on the verge of taking over.
So listen to me very carefully when I say to you...
Whatever happens...
Don't mock the trifle!

29 May 2006:
38. The Gnostic Gospels

Much of the Gnostic Gospels (as selected by Alan Jacobs) washed over me. They are mainly about Knowledge of the Self. There are many discourses on the nature of God, of Creation and the various realms of reality. But like the Buddhist Tao, they primarily attempt to describe the indescribable.

31 May 2006:
39. Paruresis

Timing was everything. He conducted a study, calculated probabilities and drew a graph. he waited in the proverbial wings and chose the optimum moment to make his move. He could almost hear the non-existent SAS commander:
"Go! Go! Go!
He went.
But he couldn't go.
He withdrew and re-scheduled.

2 June 2006:
40. Destiny

Jonny got into a lot of trouble at school. He thought he was The One - capital 'T,' capital 'O.' Everything, as far as he was concerned, was unreal - just Code, in the Universal Program. And he was the Saviour of All Mankind. But try telling that to his teachers! Philistines...