Nigel Goes to the Moon - chapter 9: inside the enormous spaceship

'So you're an iguana,' said the anti-Arnie.

'Yes,' said McGinty.

'A talking iguana,' said the anti-Arnie.

'Obviously,' said McGinty.

'A fully grown talking iguana,' said the anti-Arnie.

'Yes,' said McGinty.

'But aren't you a bit short for a--'

Nigel whipped out a canister of GrowLessa, which he just happened to have in his back pocket. 'Only £4.38 from www.dontletyourlizardgrowtoobig.com!' he said.

'ww-what now?' said the anti-Arnie.

'Off the Internet...?' said Nigel.

'I'm sorry, you've lost me.'

Nigel and McGinty gave each other a look.

'This is The Moon, isn't it?' said McGinty.

'Of course it is,' said the anti-Arnie. 'And where is it you said you were from?'

'Planet Earth,' said Nigel and McGinty at the same time.

'Oh yes, that's it,' said the anti-Arnie. 'Which would explain talking iguanas, your clapped out old spaceship and this Inter-thingy, whatever you call it.'

'Let me get this straight,' said McGinty; 'you've got a super-hi-tec spaceship and yet you've never been to Earth...'

'Yes,' said the anti-Arnie.

'You've not heard of the Internet...'

'Correct...' said the anti-Arnie.

'And you've never seen a talking iguana.'

'Never,' said the anti-Arnie.

'Something very strange is going on around here,' said McGinty. 'Something very strange indeed.'

'Have you got anything to eat?' said Nigel.