Two skirts I have never worn

A grown-up's skirt from Spitalfields
office black
with some kind of origami sash -
I could never figure how to tie it
without looking like a bunny girl
or gaping.

A floor length Victorian skirt
probably from Mark One
we all try so hard to be vintage
it smelled of grandad's piss
I am not Dickensian
I am from Bradford.