An ode to my ipod

I’ll never forget the day that we first met
Unwrapping you to reveal a thrilling statuette.
I wasn’t experienced in the manners of Ipod etiquette
And felt all flustered and awkward.

For when it came to digital music I was quite outmoded,
But I gasped with pleasure while you downloaded
A variety of music which soon exploded
Into my ears, like declaration of love.

Over time you began winking at me from my writing table
As gallons of love passed through your Firewire cable
My friends worried that I was becoming unstable
And whispered between themselves that I had ‘lost it.’

But it was clear to all that I had gone past caring
When we’d walk down the street with your love songs blaring
All the kids and parents started staring
While I stood stroking you, out behind Dixons.

But so what if others thought it was surreal
And our passion was something we’d have to conceal
To the early hours when I would play with your click-wheel
Until your LCD screen showed satisfaction.

You gave me teenage kicks courtesy of the Undertones
And I had to try hard to keep quiet my moans
While Beyonce Knowles whimpered through my earphones
As well as the sugar babes and the fit one from Girls Aloud.

Yes I loved you and I’m not ashamed to admit it
Your 640 gigabytes had me totally committed
I’d have made you so happy if you’d only permitted
To be mine for ever, but it wasn’t to be!

For one morning just past dawn
I checked your dock and you were gone
I realised those hours rating my tunes had been undone
And worse…that you had left me

In tears of loss and desperation
I approached my flatmate asking for an explanation
And implied that he would soon need medication
To heal the wounds I would inflict on his cheating hide

But he was in bed with his girlfriend - an Ipod shuffle
From under the sheets his voice was kind of a muffle
So I dived on him and we proceeded to scuffle
Till I got two black eyes for my troubles

Such is the danger of music playing chic
Where innocent men can be entrapped by a gadget’s mystique
And poets and drunkards consider him a freak
Just cos a man loves his Ipod.