dddk 9 - looking for lancelot

« I’m wretched with disappointment. My blinking feet are killing me and all. Course, T.T. thinks we’re being ridiculous.
« Do you know how many beds, in how many wards, in how many hospitals you might have to look before not finding him? » It’s really so unfeminine, the way she juts her chin out like that. « Face it Nell, » she don’t let up, « he’s moved on. » With hindsight, I reckon she had the monk on cos Shell’d been winding her up again. I do wish those two’d just sort it out.
« I’ve about had it up to here with all this negativity. » I says. « Positive draws positive. »

He’d got me a book out the library, all about the laws of attraction see. I read it from cover to cover; well. Had to take it back on me own though. The date had run out, I couldn’t wait anymore. I’ve never been in there without him. He used to put his hand, ever so gently on my shoulder, and guide me around the shelves. Made me feel like I was a little blind girl and he was the only person in the whole world who believed that I would one day see again. Mary Ingolls eat your blooming heart out. «He would not, would not just up and leave us,» I told her.  « Even Dave knows that. »

Now there’s a turn up for the books. Who’d have thought a scally like Little Dave could concentrate his mind for more than five minutes on anything other than where his next dose was coming from. Course, The Prof knew didn’t he. I‘d said to him, « You’re wasting your time on that little tea leaf. Nothing but trouble, junkies. »
« Nell, Nell, Nell, » He tutted gently, « I’m surprised, from you of all people. » I could feel myself flushing. Redder than T.T’s bleeding telephone I’d gone. « You and I old girl, it’s up to us. Someone’s got to look after the children. Who else have they got? » Well and truly shamed aint I. He came straight here you know, after the ‘incident’. Told me what’d happened. Could have slapped him at the time. « What d’you let him do a silly thing like that for? » Bloody furious I was. And then, before I know it he’s thrown himself into my arms and sobbing like a baby.
« I couldn’t stop him Nell, » He’s wailing, « I couldn’t stop him. » And as I’m stroking his prickly little head I realise his pus bloated chops are rubbing all over the collar of my best coat. Right under my nose an enormous yellowhead is seeping clear fluid, and I notice that for the first time I don’t turn away with the usual biley disgust - I am instead, flooded with an overwhelming desire to nip down the chemist and pick him up a bottle of Clearasil. I don’t of course, I take my last three quid out of me purse and send him down to Royston Wainwright III, our local purveyor of fine wines. A bottle of Thunderbird later and I have no doubt whatsoever that our beloved brother will be back among us in the very, very near future. But of course he aint.

Dave, love him. He’s been down to check, every day, nearly. It’s been nice to see him actually. Need something to break up the atmosphere down here. What with Shell filling every square inch of brick with her stinking sprays, T.T moping around after that bloody doll of hers; and the two of them jumping on any and every excuse to pick a fight, I can’t say bonhomie has been the order of the day round here for quite some time now. Since the fire, in fact.

I didn’t realise how much The Prof had been holding it all together till he went and buggered off. I don’t mean that. Well, I do, but I can’t let myself even think he’s left us all on purpose. Cos he aint. I know this, from the tips of my fingers, to the depths of my guts, and that, is why I am prepared to follow Little David round every bed, in every ward, in every hospital in London. If that’s what it takes to find my Prof, then sore feet and frustration, I am ready for you.

We did our first today, though we’d start with St.Thomas’. And a right blooming fiasco that was and all. We’re just cutting through that bloody great car park under the roundabout. David had been rather reticent about going down there at all,

« Can you really not leg it? » he’d insisted, as I wavered on the edge of a traffic choked Lambeth Road. I didn’t think there was an awful lot of point in answering, but I did, « What do you think dear? » He’d looked at me long and hard then finally nodded towards a sign saying ‘subway’. « Keep your head down and look sharp. » He’d muttered, slipping his arm through mine and practically frogmarching me down the tunnel.

Well I never. You ever seen it down there? Boxes, upon boxes, it‘s like the Rio De Janeiro of London Town. Made our little arch seem positively cosy. I felt quite the country mouse I can tell you, Me eyes big as saucers as he steers me through a murmuring cardboard maze. It feels colder down there than up top and the hairs are frizzing on the back of my neck. We can just make out a merciful pinprick of daylight when this voice roars up behind us. « Davey » I look up at my companion, his face is frozen, for the briefest instant, in a grimace of horrified defeat. Then he rallies, mustering the courage that must of lay dormant in his sad little soul, for all of his sordid seventeen years.

« Run. » He hollers. And by crickey, run we do. Hoiking up my skirts I grabbed for his outstretched hand and together we flew, up the endless tunnel, bursting out into daylight like a couple of breathless teenagers. The giggles had come upon me as he hauled us Thameside, plunging us deep into a mass of foreign students who milled at the end of the quay. « keep your head down and your mouth shut Nell. » He hissed as I snickered into my coat sleeve. Oh my giddy aunt, just thinking about it again sends me all of a shiver.

It weren’t till we’d slid round the back of the hospital and in through a wedged open fire exit that he finally started to get a little colour back. Elation gave way to exhaustion and I was looking for explanation. He hung is head like a kid caught nicking sweets, « I was sposed to deliver something, » I felt like a blinking headmistress as I prompted him on,
« Yes? »
« But I used it. » I considered this for a moment. What would The Prof say?
« Better go home via Waterloo then. » was about all I could manage off the cuff.

Like the couple of prunes that we are, we made our way to the front desk and asked if someone fitting our brothers description had been admitted about, we thought, ten days ago. Unfortunately, the tight arsed - excuse my French - old bird on reception, had evidently come from a world where having a dear friend whose given name was unknown, was unheard of. « Don’t your pals have nicknames? » I asked her, trying to be friendly see. But judging by the look she gave me, I can only assume she aint got a one. Young David then gave her his most charming smile and asked if she could tell us where all the gents wards were, so we could have a wander and look for ourselves.

« I’ll tell you where the exit is. » she smiled, calling security.

We didn’t have much to say for ourselves on the very long walk to the station, but once settled in the steamy warmth of the carriage I asked him, « Will you ever make that delivery? »

« Doubt it. » he smiled. We sat in silence till Deptford Bridge.

« Is it you giving that speed to Shell? » I’d stopped, halfway off the train and turned so as I could look him in the eye.

« Would you rather she went down the flats? » He was right, of course. But even I can see that’s just another answer. We’re still seriously lacking solutions.

Gone off to do some business now he has. But we’re gonna try Kings tomorrow.