The long trip round
By sarahprowls
Thu, 11 Jun 2009
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2 comments
They took a long trip
Around the subject
Danced other dances
In opposite directions
Surprisingly their perceptions
Of the other
Didn’t alter that much
Just aligned. Came into focus
Became warm.
Warmer
Warmest
Nothing promised
Suddenly all previous loss
Is hugely diminished
A warm bath of neutral
An ebullient and clean canvas
The can of possibility is shook
Lid removed by coy, excited hands
Contents flung
To the four winds
For fun
A third energy begun.
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Comments
Love the imagery in this,
Love the imagery in this, but unsure about the somewhat sporadic punctuation. I think you need to either go with it and punctuate the whole thing properly, or leave it out entirely,
J x
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Good advice. And the imagery
Good advice.
And the imagery is good.
Regards
Ewan
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