Letter of Application for the Post of Diversity Initiatives Facilitator

Ex-walker for a dog called Elvis,

the Nanny to one Siamese Twin;

an assistant to a blind functionary

in the Chamber of Commerce, Berlin.

I've experience in many positions,

even minder to No.10’s cat.

The money you pay is no object,

as I live in my mother’s flat.

I could start a week after Doomsday,

and I'd like Armageddon off,

tattoo me with the company's logo

and I'll swill out the manager's trough.

Please give me a chance of employment,

a spin of the personnel wheel,

a person so humanly resourceful

must be useful for something, I feel.