The Disciple

By john_silver

Tue, 20 Apr 2010
  • 778 reads
2 comments
 

If you let them say you’re free,
And you let them, like they do,
Take their guns to me and you,
They will frame you, and you’ll see,
All your gains will be their own,
You will work without effect,
Craving ripples of respect
Till you’re chewed and sucked as bone.
You who stand before their lines
And are reaching for the sea,
Shun their medals, spill their wines,
Let their song funereal be
Who laboriously lay mines
On the path of History.

Certificate U
Poem
Sonnets
Spiritual

Comments

Submitted by h jenkins on
I did enjoy the metre to this. Gives a strident, angry feel to it. Lines of three and a half feet long, I suppose it is. It's unusual but quite effective. A bit naughty to rhyme 'be' with the usually unstressed ending of 'history' but I've done the same myself in a poem on here so it must be all right! ;) A good alternative take on the sonnet, I think. I liked it. Helvigo Jenkins

Helvigo Jenkins

Submitted by john_silver on
Thanks Helvigo. The metre is trochaic tetrametre, so yeah, that's three and a half feet.