Dread (I.P.)

I do actualy imagine the loss,
too often maybe I also wonder,
I don't mean to or want to,
I just am so worried
one day it could happen.

No I (dexaggerate?),
I do actually, I dread,
I cannot believe in,
a life for me without,
yet one day it could.

So would I end it all,
or am I strong enough
to carry on surviving
miserable and alone?

My whole future planned out,
one loss, leaveve nothing left.