I will Reign

It’s a heavy endeavor the encumbrance of a whole heart.
A journey that you figure you ought to start
Only when miles and kilometers of regret are behind you,
And it is really the heart you need to use to find the truth.

Wide eyed,
Tied to the ever present past while looking to the ever present future
Mesmerized by the complexity,
subdued by the sadness,
deeply in awe of the resilience,
this will to endure I never knew existed in this place.

Wearing it on my sleeve,
bearing it, as it brings me to my knees in one moment
and raises me to nirvana in another.
This chaotic interaction of ongoing damage and repair,
This constant shift between hope and despair,
is all a record,
beat after beat…letter after letter,
altering this ever changing landscape.

There is barely a breeze out there,
calm indifference.
Nature has not shifted.
The earth has not tilted on its axis,
and yet there is a new glow to the old sunlight,
a new richness to the dark.
Things are growing everywhere
Seemingly strewn and scattered
In a haphazard manner as if an unmanageable puzzle but
I am not fooled.
It is not impossible.
This great immensity will be conquered by my (in comparison) tiny brain...
And I will reign!