Nothing to prove

Stunning imagery! However, I think some structure would benefit this work, J x

I really loved the metaphysical elements in this, the poem itself has great potential - but I have to agree with Jen that the structure needs some work. I hope you don't find this insulting, but I've just done a little re-write for you to look at, and see what you think - I hope this helps! I had a feeling for paper, not new - but urgent, It was ferried by thoughts, numbed from being stuck in muds of memories, there were only words to prove its existence; such inadequacies, what else could I do? By the time I'd written down its vague translation it had fled to the bogs - or maybe deeper still. I sat haunted by its wonder, violated by its touching. How long should I mourn its escape? Anxiously I re-read my writing, but already it had grown stale. The pages now whitened, while fluttering for more. Magic xxx

Hello Hoalarg, I don't think I've read you before. I really liked this because we've all been there. The wrods that seem so urgent and demand to be written only to find that by the time you start writing they've gone and something inferior crawls across the page, instead of the brilliance that you had five minutes earlier. Nice one.