Strange Baby part 6

‘Toby...Toby?’

Angelica stares wide eyed through the darkness of her bedroom, alone, breathless, her wild face bathed in the light of a full moon, through the parted curtains, a silent witness to her madness.
How much more...how much more of this?
That all depends.
‘Who said that?’
Me, your eh, new lodger so to speak.
‘Who is it. Who’s in the room?’
I’m not in the room...I’m inside you.
‘Inside me?’
Forgotten already? We had what you might call a one night stand. A real blazer!
‘The fire. That creature!’
There’s gratitude for you. Okay, I was a bit short on the flowers and chocolates, but I certainly warmed up the place. You ought feel privileged...it’s not every day a girl gets fucked by lightning.
‘In the bathroom...you raped me!’
I leave the details to lawyers.
‘But that was a dream?’
Like you said, it all gets mixed up. When you think you’re asleep, you’re really awake and all that stuff.
‘You can’t be real.’
Oh no? Take a look.
‘Where?’
Down...pull the sheet down.
‘Oh-my-God,’ Angelica gasps at the sight of her abdomen, glowing like a beacon in the night sky.
Real enough?
What are you
Oh...just someone passing through.
You’re that evil baby in my dreams.
The very same. Not so much evil as having fun.
You call murdering people having fun?
Well, we’ve all got to have a giggle now and then. I’m sure your dippy friend Gail would agree.
Is she really dead...and Toby?
The question is...were they really alive in the first place?
That’s no answer.
The best you’re gonner get. Ah, it’s nice to deal in fundamentals once in a while. Life, death, you take it all too seriously. You ought to have a hobby like me.
With a machine gun in one hand and a blow torch in the other?
That’s the spirit.
Am I next on the list?
You...oh no...me and Mumsy have got a long way to go yet. Lots more fun in store...we’ve barely started. I promise I’ll be a good baby... won’t kick around too much and won’t make you sick...except in the head.
I don’t believe any of this. It must be some kind of viral fever.
It ain’t no fever girl, take a look in the bathroom.

The harsh bathroom light blinds her momentarily. What her eyes finally focus on, makes her reel. Still sitting on the toilet seat is her crumpled self, sprawled like a deflated sex doll. As she raises its head, “Mamma” echoes loudly around the room. Her reflection is still frozen in the mirror, just as she had left it, hand raised. Angelica scrutinises her naked twin, discerning a definite bulge in her abdomen. Raising her hand, letting her fingertips once more melt into the glass, feeling an electric thrill surge through her body, forcing her to grip the washbasin. An evil giggle ripples over her, getting louder and louder, her reflection’s yellow laughing face mocking her.
“Mamma, Mamma” it chuckles, dirty black blood gushing from between its spreading legs, bubbling up into the washbasin, flowing over her hand, her arm, all over her body, a writhing, evil smelling blood snake masking her face, pouring like a malevolent waterfall into her mouth, a choking stench in her lungs; gasping, screaming, clutching with her hands, desperately trying to beat down the flood of gore.
‘Help me! Dear God somebody help me!’
‘It’s all right, I’ve got it.’ A young blond girl in baggy jeans holds up a thin tube. ‘You dropped your lipstick. “Midnight Rouge”,’ she reads. ‘Is that a new one? I’ve never heard of it.’
Angelica gazes blankly at the peeping blood red tongue. ‘Lipstick?’
‘You dropped it; happens to me all the time. I dropped a whole bottle of perfume on the floor once, expensive stuff. My boyfriend went up the wall. It was no problem, nothing a bit of knee trembling couldn’t cure, if you know what I mean.’ The girl nudges her. ‘Is it that new stuff that doesn’t smudge? My boyfriend’s always complaining.’
‘I...think so.’
‘I’ll have to try it sometime,’ the girl chirrups as she leaves.
‘Yes...thank you.’
‘No trouble.’
Angelica absently drops the lipstick into her bag. She’s in the Ladies toilet...where? In the pub? Another fallout, another horrible dream. If everything was mixed up, how could she know what was real? How deep can madness go? She runs a hand slowly over her abdomen...is it bigger...that thing growing inside her...her torment just a giggle? She inspects her mute reflection.
I look like a ghost...no colour...no life...like a scarecrow searching for a field. Maybe I’ve been drugged, somebody slipped me something; where...at home...the seance...the pub? They all happened...they all never happened.
She steps out of the Ladies...into a tea room. The low Autumn sun casting a sheen over the chintzy palace of Earl Grey tea, finger biscuits, old fashioned blue and white chequered table cloths with dainty doilies, sober tea cups and spinsterish waitresses - a serene oasis amidst the daily turmoil. Toby is waiting at a table next to the window. ‘You took your time,’ he grumbles, filling her cup. ‘You know I’ve got a meeting in an hours time.’
‘Sorry...I lost touch a bit.’ What else was there to say in this rumble tumble dead and alive world which was now her reality. Butchered one minute, moaning the next...cause and effect playing piggy-back so enthusiastically, you could get a nose bleed.
‘You’re getting more confused by the day,’ Toby huffs.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You seem to be preoccupied, as if you’re somewhere else half the time. I hope you’re not going to be like this after the wedding?’
‘Wedding?’
‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that!?’
‘I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.’ Angelica lowers her head, crimson with embarrassment.
‘Someone you’re in love with going down on his knees and asking you to marry him, ought to stick in the mind!’
‘Of course, of course. It’s just that...well...so many strange things have been happening lately.’
‘What sort of strange things?’
‘Toby...’ Angelica hesitates, knowing she’s on shaky ground, ‘do you believe in evil spirits?’
‘I’ve had a few stiff headaches from cheap whiskey.’
‘I’m serious. I...something is happening to me. Everything is confused...time, places, people...all twisted.’
‘It’s not your time of the month is it? You always go very funny then.’
‘Will you stop making a joke of it. I’m serious...deadly serious...I think I’m...possessed.’
‘Possessed?’
‘Yes,’ her lips barely move.
‘Oh come on Angelica, we all have our off day, get confused, forgetful, but that’s got nothing to do with spooks.’
‘I don’t know how else to explain all the weird things that are going on.’
‘You’re still not over Gail, that’s what it is.’
‘Gail?’
‘Look, I know it was a great shock, we were all cut up about it, but she’s gone and you’ve got to pick up your life again. I thought you were over the worst. Perhaps you ought to talk to someone... professional.’
‘You think I’m off my head?’
‘I didn’t say that. I mean a person specialised in those sort of traumas.’
‘Perhaps I ought to get a straight jacket fitted instead of a wedding dress?’
‘Angelica, don’t be ridiculous.’
‘Maybe you’d better think twice before marrying the mad woman?’
‘You’re not mad.’
‘Well, I’m not mad, I’m not possessed...what the hell am I?’
‘Ange, Ange!’ Gail’s voice warbles behind her. Angelica turns, seeing her friend waving by the bar.
‘Which flavour crisps did you want? Cheese and onion or Smoky bacon?’
‘What?’
‘Which flavour?’
Angelica turns again. Toby has gone, also the tea room; she’s back in the pub, surrounded by jostle, clinking glasses, occasional elevated laughter, a darts match reaching its climax, the rowdy group in the corner, young love mingled with liquid camaraderie.
‘Make your mind up Ange.’
‘Oh...it doesn’t matter...you choose.’

‘Phew, it’s crowded at the bar.’ Gail huffs down next to her, throwing crisp packets on the table. ‘I got both, you can choose.’
Angelica opens one without looking, wondering what’s in store now.
‘You all right Ange?’
‘What?’
‘I know...I understand.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You haven’t made your mind up yet.’ Gail crunches savagely on a handful of crisps.
‘Made up my mind?’
‘I suppose you haven’t told Toby either?’
‘Haven’t told Toby? Gail, what are you talking about?’
‘You know Ange...what you told me last week...about your predicament.’
‘What...predicament?’
‘About you...’ Gail leans close to her, low voiced. ‘About you being pregnant.’
‘Pregn...what did I tell you?’
‘That you were pregnant and didn’t know what to do.’
‘Well...that’s true enough.’
‘I shouldn’t worry about Toby. He won’t mind, he’s crazy about babies, although the timing is a bit squiffy.’
‘It’s not Toby I’m thinking of. I don’t want this baby.’
‘Oh...’
‘And you don’t have to look at me like that. It’s my body, my decision!’
‘Of course Ange, of course. But you know Toby won’t leave you in the lurch.’
‘It’s got nothing to do with Toby!’ Angelica hisses.
Gail, momentarily subdued, sips her drink, then slowly turns to her friend, eyes widening. ‘Nothing to do...you mean...you mean he’s not the father? Wow, then you do have a problem...a really big one.’
‘Don’t jump to conclusions.’ Toby’s the only man in my life. One is enough.’
‘Then why don’t you want the baby?’
‘Because I don’t! I’m not ready. I’m far too young to chain myself to nappies and pushchairs. Once a baby arrives your life’s over.’
‘That’s a bit strong Ange.’
‘It’s true.’
‘But you do get a lot back.’
‘Please don’t quote me all that healthy bouncing baby crap!’
‘All right all right, no need to bite my head off.’ Gail seeks shelter studying her crisp packet.

Should I tell her? Angelica ponders. Tell her what...about an evil baby growing inside me?
Not so much of the evil, if you don’t mind.
But you are evil.
No more than most. I’m just more honest about it. Go on...tell her. I want to enjoy the look on her face. Of course she’ll think you’re crazy. Come to think of it, you must be. You keep talking to dead people and eating their crisps.
You keep twisting things!
Because it’s already twisted. I thought you’d figured it out by now. Everything can be... everything can’t be...once you realise that it’s very simple. Remember, everyone thinks that Alice is the sane one in Wonderland...and they’re all wrong.

‘So what are you going to do?’ Gail’s question is irritating, if inevitable.
‘I don’t know.’
‘Well you can’t think about it too long...the bigger it gets, the worse it will be.’
‘I know that too!’ Angelica snarls. ‘I just...I just want to get rid of it...quietly, no fuss...’
‘Without anybody knowing, you mean?’
‘Exactly.’
‘Don’t you think Toby’s got a right...’
‘Especially not Toby! If you can’t think of anything to help me, why don’t you...just...eat your crisps!’
Angelica regrets her outburst the second it leaves her mouth. Cursing herself, the world but, most of all, the monstrous being plotting inside her.
The minute I’m rid of you, everything will be fine.
Says you.
This nightmare will be finished.

‘There is one way I can help you.’ Gail says sheepishly. ‘If you’re doubly sure about stopping it.’
‘Which I am.’
‘And you don’t want to do it “officially” so to speak.’
‘Which I don’t.’
‘And if you don’t fancy your chances with a knitting needle.’
‘Spit it out Gail, for God’s sake.’
Her friend takes a note from her bag and hands it over.
‘What’s this?’
‘Just an address and telephone number...someone who can help you out.’
‘You mean...?’
‘He’s very discrete, not too expensive and more or less legal.’
‘More or less?’
‘Yes, well...he got a bit too familiar with his female patients, if you know what I mean...and was...’
‘Struck off...a doctor?’
‘Sort of...a specialist, you might say.
‘In predicaments?’
‘Exactly. No awkward questions, very quick, before you know it you’ll be as good as knew. He’s safe too...you won’t end up in casualty pouring blood.’
‘What on earth are you doing with an address like this?’
‘Oh it’s not mine. I got it from Sandra.’
‘You told Sandra!?’
‘No of course not! What do you take me for? No...Sandra had...well...a mishap a couple of years ago. She gave me that note just in case I should need it.’
‘Your Sandra obviously hung out with some very progressive Girl Guides.
‘It got her out of tight spot.’
‘And I’m supposed to believe this, after all that nonsense with the seance?’
‘What seance?’ Gail asks mystified. ‘What are you talking about?’
Angela sits back flabbergasted. The circle round... now I’m back before where I started...but if everywhere is a beginning and an end at the same time...square one is just a flying carpet.
‘You don’t have to use him. It’s just easier if you want to avoid the normal channels, and Toby need never know.’
Angelica stares a long while at the small piece of paper before putting it into her bag.