Twenty seasons

Twenty seasons

Most people say I look after my mother; her face, her appearance had
something of a fairy. I bear these features as well. But loneliness is part of a
fairy’s destiny. Men have become a rare species nowadays and they don’t
look forward to marriage any longer. Back in my grandmother’s days things
were so simple and young people took life more seriously.
I wish I had painted all of it, or put it in a song… But then all that is left to us is words.
My feet started to feel the cold quite a long time before we got off. I clung to my sandals and to my dress even if we headed for the mountains. And then there we were, out in the cold, next to our luggage, waiting to be lodged. Why are trips always related to the need of taking a leak? Mr. S helped me and took my luggage on the stairs. His daughter Ana said she wanted to share the room with me. I replied that I didn’t know what they had in mind. All the children were nervous and restless, playing around us on the stairs. Then my eyes fell on him: patient and quiet, making me wonder what kind of look his eyelids covered.
“What’s your name?”
“Stefan”. And he continued to stare at his shoes.
I shared my room with Ana and Mili. Mili was almost six. Two days went by and after two days we finally noticed each other, me and Stefan. We considered our faces. Then I found out he lived near the sea and his complexion confirmed it. I brought him wild strawberries- I meant them to be a memory token- and he thanked me but still avoided my face. He would look when I wasn’t looking, you know.
Little Mili was a family friend to him.
„Mili, your friend Stefan is sweet”.
„Our parents are friends, you know”.
„How old is he?”
„Oh, he’s eleven. He’s got a sweetheart there, they’re in the same school”.
„You mean there, near the sea?”
„Yes, they are very much fond of each other”.
„No, he can’t have a sweetheart, Mili! I’ve already fallen for him”.
Mili put both her arms round my neck in a big hug.
„Oh, I’m sorry for you, I’m really sorry!”
„Aren’t you?” I smiled just to keep it as a joke.
„You are too aged for him, this is all. You must find someone your age”.
„Yes, I must”.
„But I like you, I like you a lot, Otilia”.
„Do you have a boyfriend?” Ana asked.
„Yes, I have”.
„And would you marry him?”
„Of course, why not?”
„But would you marry someone else except him?”
I thought she might have meant her father at this point.
„Someone else meaning who, Ana?”
Late that night I was gathering my hair at my back and I looked into my cracked mirror. I might have scared him, who knows? We were twenty years apart, no more, no less. Just to think that Mr. S had given me wild strawberries as a sign of tenderness and I gave them to Stefan... Will I come to his mind much later in his life, out of a turbid fog of sweet and sour?
It was the midsummer night and old people say that we gather in a round dance in the woods, me and the ones like me. I was about to put on my white dress when the door opened and there he was.
„No, go away Stefan! Why didn’t you knock first? Oh, she’s naked!” Mili rushed on the stairs and dragged him.
I returned at dawn and they were all waiting for me in the dining room.
„I brought you woodruff, see? Like the one in my hair!”
„How can you be so careless? The boys saw you naked last night. They say you took Stefan”.
„No, I didn’t take him. Tell me Stefan, is this true?” He lifted his eyes and gave us an innocent look.
„She didn’t take me. Mili dragged me after her”.
„We all know you like him. You wanted to take him away”.
„Leave her! Let us all sit and eat our breakfast and forget about it!”said Mr. S.
One of Stefan’s little roommates came after me. „Is it true what Stefan said about you?”
„And what did he say?”
„That you live in the woods”.
„And what did the others say?”
„They say you’re after children”.
There was a knock at my room and I opened, even if I felt ill. It was Mr. S, holding a book.
„I believe you heard of Erlkonig”.
„Yes... you know how it feels, don’t you? To fall for the wrong one...”
„He’s so much younger... this is why they all got angry. But I know you didn’t do anything”.
„No, since it is forbidden”.
Then I went to Stefan’s room.
„I came to kiss you good night. May I?”
„No, I don’t kiss people good night”.

I went back to the party and felt a bit down in the mouth, but then I thought he was just a child and didn’t know how to react to all of this.
„I will scald him, don’t worry!” Mili said with a pointed finger.
„No, you don’t need to do this”.

And then the bus... that bus which contained me and the two of them. One of those moments when someone jams you in a tiny place with just those few you cannot have... the rest of them mattered too little. I turned to him: „How are you? Why won’t you look at me?”
I thought that might have been a mistake and I was determined to ignore him until the last minute. We got off. I checked my mobile, then I looked to the left and then to the right. He came closer and I imagine he glanced at me, still I wanted to seem absorbed. I saw my brother’s car stop next to us.
„That’s it! I must go now. Good bye!”
I hugged almost all of them except him. Mili stretched her hand to me.
„Bye, Otilia!”
„Bye bye, Mili!” I seized her hand without turning back and I knew there were little chances to see her or Stefan again. He lived near the sea. I quickened my steps in a joyful manner.I smiled to my brother and hoped Stefan noticed I was happy.