The Time Machine of Thorrocks Manor - 5

“You seem a little agitated, Miss Vu. Is something the matter?”
“Yes, a leedle bit, Monsieur; I need to speak viz you in private.”
“Yes, Miss Vu – allow me to leave the bakelite horn of the telephone hanging from its wire and throw open the quintuple doors from the hall into the library – careful of the elephant rug, Miss Vu – and let us stand here to commence our private communion.”
“?? – Okay, we stand and talk ’ere, yes?”
“Err – yes – good a place as any - unless you wish to propose an alternative venue for our hushed confabulation, Miss Vu.”
“??? – Non, Monsieur Garghoul, as we are ’ere in zer library, I sink I vill need to lean forward and reach up viz my mouse so I can visper into your left ear. You are okay viz zis, Monsieur Garghoul?”
“Yes, I sink – sorry, I think so.”
“Okay, I voz in zer dining room, trying not to listen to your master and ’is ’orrid ’igh voice – so silly – I was cleaning zer brass fittings, yes?, around zer bottom of zer fire place ... Monsieur Garghoul, are you concentrate?”
“I’m sorry, Mis Vu, but with the lovely scent of your parfum and the way your words, when you whisper, caress my left cheek and the lobe of my adjacent ear, I am finding it quite hard.”
“Monsieur Garghoul!”
“Might I suggest, Mis Vu, that you stand a little further away from me and talk in a slightly less hushed manner and, if I close my eyes, then I feel confident that I will be able to concentrate on what you wish to communicate all the better.”
“??? – Okay, like ziz, yes?”
“Yes, I think so, though I can’t exactly see you now.”
“Vy are all you Ingleesh so vraiment impractique?! But then, it iz quite charmant. Okay, I voz in zer dining room, trying not to listen to your master and ’is ’orrid ’igh voice – so silly – I was cleaning zer brass fittings, yes?, around zer bottom of zer fire place ...”
“Ah, yes, I did quite inadvertently happen to catch a glimpse of you. I was very impressed by your hip and upper thigh flexibility, Miss Vu. Do you practise yoga?”
“Non. I am a simple girl.”
“And then, I saw you again in a similar way in the kitchen subsequently.”
“Yes, I voz looking for zer bleach in zer bottom cupboard.”
“Ah, yes, exactly so.”
“Zen, ven Monsieur Vortbottom made zer ’orrid screaming ...
“Ah, yes, his moment of meditation.”
“... , I was frighten and ran into ...”
“Oh, I am so sorry – poor vous, Miss Vu.”
“... the dining room, and then into the billiard room, and then into the conservatory, and then down the back passage ...”
“Oh no, Miss Vu, you’ll catch your death.”
“No, it’s okay, I am an ’ardy girl.”
“I do hope not – they all seem to come to a bit of a sticky end.”
“?? ... and zen into ’ere in zer library. But, Monsieur Garghoul, I sink I saw zer Dame ’Ermion to disappear sroo zer secret door from zer library.”
“Oh no, zis, sorry, this is terrible news! What it means is that Dame Hermione has escaped from the Home for the Mildly Concussed. But, we may have to put this on the back burner for a while, as I have just thought of an immediately more pending issue.”
“Monsieur Garghoul?”
“Yes, it relates to Mister Warburton.”
“Oh, I see, Monsieur.”
“Could you please wait here for me, Miss Vu, for a few moments?”
“Okay, I will clean zer chiens de feu beside the grate here while I wait for you.”
“Yes, I was afraid you might say that.”
“Remember to open zee eyes, Monsieur.”
“Oh yes. Let me just throw to one side the hanging tapestry before the connecting inner doors into the breakfast room and enter thus.”
“Ah, Gargers, there you are. Where have you been?”
“I was dealing with a nuisance call, sir.”
“What is that?”
“Quite a new invention, sir. And, then, I was talking to Miss Vu.”
“Miss who?”
“Miss Vu, sir. Miss Déjà Vu?”