the sufferer

a statement:

“father, my faith is fleeting---i
simply cannot shake these questions
inside which plague me to no
end---i feel that all the things in this
world which made sense to me
under the power of god have begun
to fall apart & the truth that once
was, which i once held onto---
it is fading…vanishing.”

a response:

“my son, do not fret---the lord god is
simply testing you. with each trial you
face, with each moment of questioning,
with each doubt you cast upon your faith,
you strengthen it! you become a stronger
servant to god when you come back from
this place! remember you are always
able to be drawn back to the devil---the
walk with god is not one which does
not have pits & branches over which you
will stumble---you must get up, dust
yourself off, and praise god for giving
you the chance to prove how strong
your faith really is in him!”

a statement:

“but why must i constantly be tested?
why must i constantly prove my own
faith when i see so many more reasons
to fall away from god? it seems every
single day something new shows itself
to me which makes me question all that
i have been told, all that i have learned
growing up---so why should i endure
this when it all seems it is simply for
the sake of an unrequited fantasy?”

a response:

“listen to yourself, my son. do you
think our savior didn’t go through his
own questioning of what the prophets had
said? do you think it was easy for him
to suffer for the sins of the world? he
died on the cross for you---he died on
the cross! he did this so that you will
have eternal life---but you must put your
faith in him, and it must not falter,
despite your temporal moments of
doubt. ask yourself this, do you want to
be the one whose faith is in question
when our savior returns to judge the
living and the dead? do you want to be
THAT GUY?”

a statement:

“i guess not…i guess not, father.”